Star Wars⁶

B) Look, I'm just glad Lucas has another absurdly luxurious ranch-style compound for his employees. Thank God they don't have to work in a regular old office building, like adults.

C) Don't ask me ... I thought Jar Jar Binks was a thoroughly engrossing, well-rounded character.

7) How do you think the new Star Wars trilogy compares to the original three films, and do you think Lucas' recent efforts have damaged or improved his legacy as a filmmaker?

A) His legacy as a filmmaker? This is the man who gave us Willow.

B) What's that? I'm sorry, I was too busy watching Lord of the Rings again.

C) Oh, the new ones are somuch better -- although you probably have to grasp the full history of human mythology to understand why they're not just cartoons. The way Lucas applies overly broad philosophical concepts to hackneyed dialogue and painfully contrived narrative, masquerading childish clichés as statements of profundity ... that's why he's such a genius.

How to score:

Score zero points for every "A" answer, one point for every "B," and two points for every "C."

0-6 points: Just be happy the movies are finished, and pray to Yoda the TV series won't have any Ewoks in it.

7-10 points: Yeah, we thought Ewan McGregor would be cooler as Obi-Wan, too. Oh, well.

11-14 points: You're such a true Lucas apologist, you're probably wondering if there will be a special-edition DVD of this quiz (with no new questions, just old ones changed in small, annoying ways). Yep -- in stores by Christmas.