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Department of What the Fuck? 

What convicted felons Lil' Kim and Martha Stewart have in common

Wednesday, Jul 27 2005
Hip hop's original sex kitten, Lil' Kim, has been sent up the river for 366 days. That's more than twice the jail sentence homemaker Martha Stewart received for essentially doing the same thing: lying to cover the tracks of male counterparts. Different strokes for different folks, we guess. But the weird thing is, a closer look reveals that similar perpetrations aren't the only thing these two have in common. Observe:

No. 1. In their respective realms -- lascivious rhymes and luscious recipes -- each is known as the Queen Bee.

No. 2. To create an impression of humility in the courtroom, both ladies chose to carry Hermès Birkins, leather handbags from Paris that start at around $6,000 and require sitting on a waiting list for several years to purchase.

No. 3. Both Bees requested to serve time at a facility in Danbury, Conn., and both cited closeness to ailing mothers as their reason. (Martha ended up in West Virginia.) Just imagine if that had worked out and they had been jailed at the same time: Martha could have shared her signature blend of cellblock moonshine and Kim could have pimped Martha to the she-males who run the prison cafeteria.

No. 4. Martha and Kim can each create dazzling flower arrangements. Martha's are appropriate for table centerpieces, while Kim's make her nipple the centerpiece.

No. 5. In approximately a year and a half, we can expect to see the two appearing together on TV, sharing a room at the Surreal Life house.

About The Author

Tamara Palmer


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