Last summer on Oahu I succumbed to the haole curse: I'd eat four deep-fried Leonard's malasadas for breakfast, pass out on a towel, wake up to a pound of kalua pork, pass out on a towel, and so on until I was stumbling through security at the airport, sticky with cherry shave-ice. It was a wild time, and I intend to relive the entire affair at the Aloha Festivalin the Presidio. In addition to authentic plate-lunch food (two starches!) for the huge crowd of Pacific Islanders expected to attend, you'll find tons of Hawaiian music and entertainment (including slack-key guitar, hula, ukulele, and Hawaiian jazz and rock), as well as an outrigger canoe race rounding Alcatraz, which is no Molokai Channel, but still. The fest starts at 10 a.m. Saturday and Sunday at the Presidio Parade Grounds, Lincoln & Montgomery, S.F. Admission is free; call 281-0221 or visit www.sanfranciscoalohafestival.org.
-- Michael Leaverton
Dog Meet Dog
It's a tough time for dogs right now. A debate rages among the citizenry about whether some breeds, which shall remain unnamed, are inherently bad, or whether it is the owners who are sometimes irresponsible. The Great Dogs in the Park Festivalshould be a boost for all involved: It's set to welcome excellent pets and their upright companions with a Canine Good Citizen Test (get the pooch certified!), dog advocacy groups, a ton of goodies, and a mobile adoption center. It starts at 10 a.m. in Alamo Square Park, Fulton & Steiner, S.F. Admission is free; call 346-7851 or visit www.d5dog.org.
-- Hiya Swanhuyser
Women on the Waves
In the '80s, women surfers were a precious few; today you'll see more out at Linda Mar in one afternoon than during an entire summer in shortboarding's heyday. Indeed, women's surfing has washed over the mainstream, propelled by myriad gear-makers, contests, bad movies, and camera-ready hotshots pissing off the purists. But whatever the participant's gender, surfing is still essentially about two simple elements: riding waves in the water and getting silly on land, the latter of which you can accomplish in fine form at the NorCal Women's Surf Fest. Enjoy music by Todd Hannigan, Charm School Dropouts, and DJ Stephanie Philips, and mingle with pros Mary Bagalso, Julie Cox, and Mary Osborne (who will sign her book, Sister Surfer: A Women's Guide to Surfing With Bliss and Courage), starting at 3 p.m. at El Rio, 3158 Mission (at Cesar Chavez), S.F. Admission is $8-20; call 282-3325 or visit www.elriosf.com.
-- Michael Leaverton