I Spy a Bullshit Columnist

C) The lesson learned here: Hey, Tenet, pick up the phone and return a call.

5) This is not the first time Novak has been involved in a ruckus involving anonymous sources. In July 2001, the syndicated columnist revealed that just-accused spy Robert P. Hanssen was his primary source for a column a few years earlier about an FBI agent who resigned after tangling with then-Attorney General Janet Reno. He wrote: "Disclosing confidential sources is unthinkable for a reporter seeking to probe behind the scenes in official Washington, but the circumstances here are obviously extraordinary." Why do you think he would name his sources then, in a comparatively innocuous case, but not now, when his column has become the stepping stone to a grand jury probe?

A) Wait, wait, wait. He was using a guy who turned out to be a spy as a source? Yeah, there's no reason to doubt the validity of what this journalist writes -- none.

B) Well, those circumstances were "obviously extraordinary." These circumstances are extraordinary only if you look at them really, really closely, in just the right kind of light.

C) One word: integrity.

6) Many other prominent journalists -- from jailed New York Times reporter Judith Miller to Meet the Press host Tim Russert to noted Washington Post scribe Walter Pinkus -- have spoken to the grand jury about what they knew (and from whom), although it remains unclear how these reporters figure into the special prosecutor's investigation. There's been a public outcry demanding that these journalists come clean with the public, as well, but so far they have followed their lawyers' advice to not answer questions. Do you think they have an obligation to define their role in a scandal that their colleagues and media outlets are covering ceaselessly?

A) Look, these are celebrity journalists. They're different.

B) I don't want to be undemocratic or anything, but doesn't everyone agree that it might be more convenient to just leave Judy Miller in jail?

C) Hmm ... I'll have to see what Novak says about it this week on Capital Gang. Oh, wait ....

7) Given Novak's distinguished career as a journalist and television commentator -- including almost 50 years covering Washington -- how do you think he'll emerge from the scandal and his CNN suspension?

A) In handcuffs.

B) With a fair amount of pomposity, I'd wager.

C) Golden. And I bet he'll look especially tanned and rested during his 25-city book tour, when he'll tell us all about everything.

How to score:

Score zero points for every "A" answer, one point for every "B," and two points for every "C."

0-6 points: Hey, was it Evans or Novak who died? I can't tell just by looking ....

7-10 points: What ever happened to treason, anyway? Do they still arrest people for that?

11-14 points: You are a true Bob Novak apologist. And, no, Mrs. Novak, we hadn't read his column in years either.