Satanic Hacking

A) Of course. After all, this is a debate about choosing one's words carefully, and owning up to what you say.

B) Look, I respect Alou's decision not to talk to Krueger. His call-in audience didn't want to either.

C) Here's my question: When Larry Krueger dies (and I'm not saying, necessarily, that he should), can he be given a decent Christian burial? Or is that not done for a messenger of Satan?

6) The rhetoric surrounding the KNBR controversy escalated quickly. Besides the "Satan" remark, Giants shortstop Omar Vizquel drew a parallel between Krueger's comments and those of John Rocker, the relief pitcher who in 1999 told Sports Illustratedhe'd never play in New York because of its minority, gay, and "foreign" populations. Meanwhile, Krueger's fellow talker, Rod Brooks, volunteered to "give an arm" if he could mediate between Alou and Krueger, while Gary Radnich, a KNBR host and KRON sportscaster, appeared visibly upset on television, saying of Krueger and his fired colleagues: "In this politically correct world, you don't get a second chance anymore." What did you think as you were watching the scandal unfold?

A) Wait. This is the college radio station and the university baseball team, right? Right?!?

B) Wow. I think KNBR could really be on to something with a "Rod Brooks the One-Armed Dimwit" show.

C) You know, if Larry Krueger's a messenger of Satan, that must make John Rocker, like, the devil's right-hand man. In that case, I can definitely see how God won.

7) When all the dust settles, who do you think wins and loses in the controversy?

A) San Francisco loses. When Gary Radnich is the closest thing you have to a sensible voice, your metropolis is deeply troubled.

B) No, KNBR gets stuck with the loss. How do you replace a personality like Larry Krueger? How?

C) The big winner: Barry Bonds. For a few weeks there, nobody was talking about how long it's taking him to come back from off-season knee surgery without the benefit of ... youth.

How to score:

Score zero points for every "A" answer, one point for every "B," and two points for every "C."

0-6 points: Hey, the next time a major leaguer says he'd refuse to play with a gay teammate, can we get Alou's take on that?

7-10 points: Can you be a "bicycle messenger of Satan?" 'Cause I almost got run over by one of them the other day.

11-14 points: Yes, all in all, a lovely little controversy. Dumb commentary leading to dumb commentary leading to mass firings and increased racial tension -- feel proud, San Francisco. Feel proud.