Jack O'Lantern Jamboree: Have fun at this festival filled with parades, balloon animals, candy, face painting, pirate schooling, and of course, pumpkin carving. Who knows? You might even enjoy it as much as your kids. Sat., Oct. 29, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun., Oct. 30, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., $8. Children's Fairyland, 699 Bellevue (at Grand), Oakland, 510-452-2259, www.fairyland.org.
KISS Screamin' Halloween Cruise: A boat party on the San Francisco Spirit yacht? Sounds alluring and kind of creepy. Just don't fall or get pushed overboard. Also, arrive no later than 7:30 p.m., or the ship will sail without you. Sat., Oct. 29, 7:30 p.m., $32, www.981kissfm.com. Pier 9, Embarcadero & Broadway.
Levende Cabaret: Top-notch DJs mixing funky house, soul, and hip hop nicely compliment live cabaret and hip hop acts at this fancy and frightful affair. Sat., Oct. 29, 10:30 p.m., $10. Levende Lounge, 1710 Mission (at Duboce), 864-5585, www.levendesf.com.
Macknificent: Since clearly this costume trend will not die, Club Q presents to you yet another pimp-and-ho party. You know what to do. Sat., Oct. 29, 10 p.m., $5. Club Q, 61 Golden Gate (at Market), 255-1668, www.clubqsf.com.
Mad Hatter's Tea Party: Fabulous tea and dinner party where the best costume winner wins free high-quality tea for an entire year. Mon., Oct. 31, 3-10 p.m., $22. Samovar Tea Lounge, 498 Sanchez (at 18th St.), 626-4700, www.samovartea.com.
Masquerade: Hip hop, reggae, Hindi remixes, club hits, techno, and Bhangra beats will cover all your music tastes at this downtown night club's Halloween bash. An 18-and-over event. Sat., Oct. 29, 10 p.m., $10-$15. Blue Cube, 34 Mason (at Market), 259-8629, www.bluecubesf.com.
Monster Bash: Spend Halloween in Alameda at an evening of dancing and sweet-treat dining on the deck of the USS Hornet. All ages are welcome. Sat., Oct. 29, 7:30 p.m.-midnight, $10-$20. USS Hornet Museum, Pier 3, Alameda Point, Alameda, 510-521-8448.
New Wave City's Halloween Dance Party: Break out your shoulder pads, big hair, and high-grade blow for this frightening '80s dance party that simply proves once again that the only good thing to come out of this era was the music. Be sure to participate in the Cure's Robert Smith Look-Alike Contest by wearing your saddest sulk. Sat., Oct. 29, 9 p.m.-3 a.m., $7-$12. Studio Z, 314 11th St. (at Folsom), 252-7666, www.studioz.tv.
Nightmare on Fulton Street: Fear not, USF students! No need to travel outside of your area and run the risk of mingling with public school students. 1751 Social, your local club, is throwing a DJ Halloween spectacle with Browntempo, Sparks, and xlr8. Mon., Oct. 31, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., $10. 1751 Social Club, 1751 Fulton (at Masonic), 441-1751, www.1751socialclub.com.
The Only Pre-Vegoose Halloween Costume Ball: Win a hotel stay and two tickets to Las Vegas if your costume rocks the hardest. Don't worry if you don't win, because you'll have the pleasure of listening to Zero-Two, Melvin Seals, and Futoshi Morioka perform. Almost the same thing, right? Thu., Oct. 27, 9 p.m., $12. 12 Galaxies, 2565 Mission (at 22nd St.), 970-9777, www.12galaxies.com.
Peaches Christ's Hell House: It's not Halloween without Peaches Christ, period. Let her and her gaggle of scary-ass drag queens delight and make you keel over with laughter at this brilliant cabaret show smack dab in the heart of the Castro. Sat., Oct. 29, 11 p.m., $6, www.peacheschrist.com. Harvey's, 500 Castro (at 18th St.), 431-4278.
The Pimps Who Stole Christmas and Called It Halloween: Jillian's hosts a party at the Metreon with the worn-out Halloween costume theme of pimps and hos: Men dress like big studs, women dress like little sluts. Expect a costume contest with a celebrity judge panel, fancy bottle service, food, fun, flirting, and more. Fri., Oct. 28, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., $15. Jillian's, 101 Fourth St. (at Mission), 369-6100, www.jillians.com.
Pre-Halloween Flashback Party: Classic hip hop and dancehall sounds by DJs Pam the Funkstress, Zeph, Motion Potion, Coop D'ville, Ren the Vinyl Archaeologist make this night worth remembering. That, or the madcap antics going on just outside on Market and Sixth Streets. Fri., Oct. 28, 10 p.m.-3 a.m., $10. Club Six, 60 Sixth St. (at Jessie), 863-1221, www.clubsix1.com.
Pumpkin Pandemonium: Arts & crafts, a costume contest, live entertainment for the little ones, pumpkin decorating, and a solid round of trick-or-treating will delight and overexcite your kids. Sun., Oct. 30, 5 p.m., free, 705.5500. Pier 39, Beach & Embarcadero, 705-5500, www.pier39.com.
Queer Open Mike Halloween Show: Hostesses Cindy M. Emch and Sherilyn Connelly will make sure things run smoothly at this queer open-mike night that focuses on Halloween and themes of fright. Fri., Oct. 28, 7:30 p.m., $1-$5. Three Dollar Bill Cafe, 1800 Market (at McCoppin), 503-1532, www.threedollarbill.com.
The Rhythm Method's Halloween Bash 2005: Not only will there be a costume contest here, but Cause 4 Concern has come over from merry ol' England to blast us all with a boss drum 'n' bass set. Fri., Oct. 28, 9 p.m.-3 a.m., $10. Shadow Lounge, 299 Ninth St. (at Folsom), 302-4684, www.shadowloungesf.com.
Rockin' Jake's New Orleans Halloween: Spend this Halloween feeling smooth, cool, and easy by taking in some downtown jazz at one of SF's foremost jazz venues. Mon., Oct. 31, 8:30 p.m., $10. Biscuits & Blues, 401 Mason (at Geary), 292-BLUE (2583), www.biscuitsandblues.com.