Vote Like This, Dammit!

1) "We're driving upstate to take in the gorgeous display of colorful locals."

2) "That's nothing. I made one pair of underwear last a 60-day tour through Europe."

3) "If he's not going to shave his face, then I'm not going to shave my legs."

4) "No, I don't think we need counseling. This is our first date."

5) "This is the orgasm I've been waiting for."

6) "So you called to tell me you don't feel like talking?"

7) "That was great, Howard. The perfect antidote to mindless summer fare."

8) "It's amazing how much the culture has penetrated the counterculture."

9) "I wonder if the ghosts wear tie-dyed sheets."

10) "It was better before God took up knitting."

11) "I try never to eat a burrito bigger than my head."

12) "Do you still have your gallbladder?"

13) "Remind me what our other roommate's name is."

14) "Don't you just love that new cat smell?"

15) "I'll be happy to give you innovative thinking. What are the guidelines?" (Tommy Craggs)

New Yorker cartoons: 1, 4, 7, 10, 14, 15; "Public eavesdropping": 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13

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