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A) The damn squawking parrots, that's who.
B) Sounds like this Cowen fellow is just another of those slimy San Francisco landlords who hates trees and animals and other living things. Also, I'm a sucker for bearded men with silly causes.
C) The Elections Department. Oops, sorry -- force of habit, I guess.
How to score:
Score zero points for every "A" answer, one point for every "B," and two points for every "C."
0-6 points: We know, we know -- you wish the whole thing would just fly away.
7-10 points: If only more homeless people were parrots, San Francisco would have that little problem all figured out.
11-14 points: Congratulations! You're a true apologist for the Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill. And now I think Polly wants a cracker, Mr. Bittner.
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