Misc. Reviews

If it's kinda, sorta music-related, we'll review it. This week: Turf Talk on Judge Joe Brown.

God bless You Tube (www.youtube.com), an insane time-suck of a Web site containing approximately eleventy-billion video clips of pop-cultural ephemera. (For example, if you've yet to see the spoof Brokeback to the Future, now you know where to go.) Thanks to You Tube we were able to watch last year's swept-under-the-rug episode of Judge Joe Brown featuring popular local rapper Turf Talk.

Appearing under his fairly non-hip hop birth name, Demar Bernstine, Turf (whose cousin/mentor is the legendary E-40) was being sued for failing to pay for costs associated with a wrecked Land Rover acquired for him in the plaintiff's name. Not surprisingly, hijinks transpired.

Languid and half-lidded, Judge Joe Brown ruled in favor of the 21-year-old female plaintiff, serving Turf with a plate full of street-savvy sass. But Brown then got mad-dogged by the MC, who unleashed his self-proclaimed "devastating mouthpiece" and shouted over him. Alas, no freestyle rhymes were busted, nor did Turf bust out his hit "It's a Slumper," which is probably for the best: In sharp contrast to that Cuban firebrand Judge Milian, Judge Joe Brown is decidedly lacking in all things hyphy.

Even though he lost (and got fined an extra $200 for contempt), Turf Talk ultimately did what he does very well: He repped his home region, his recently released album, and himself, and took care to allude to the fact that pimpin' ain't easy (allegedly, he was helping the plaintiff with her budding escort career). What more is a Yay Area hip hop boss supposed to do?

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