You saw the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah drummer's GN'R tribute band and weren't satisfied. OK, I admit, Axl's new version of GN'R is largely a world-class cover band. You'll also have to sit through more than a few pointless guitar jams. But I'll be damned if Axl Rose isn't the best Axl Rose impersonator alive! And I kinda like the band's bluesy sketch of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful." That song always makes me cry.
You're writing a dissertation on nonsense as signification in American pop music. "Ow!" "KUH!" "Hey, hey, hey." "No, no, no-ooh-whoa." I've already got your thesis sentence: Although many would argue that Axl Rose is a rock 'n' roll cliché, he is, on the contrary, the genius behind many of rock's most enduring clichés.
You want a free copy of Chinese Democracy. Several of the original tunes the new GN'R plays, especially "Better" and "The Blues," are surprisingly catchy, even if they're not as memorable as Appetite's dark odes to debauchery or Illusion's motor-mouthed psychodramas. All you need is a little tape recorder.
You're tired of being a closet GN'R fan. If you're still reading this, it's time to end the pain. I've been there before. Or as Axl and Elton might say, "I've seen that movie too-ooh-woo." What better place to come out?