The food came out one course at a time over about two hours, which was a great pace. I like to take my time. It was very gourmet stuff, all compotes and reductions and drizzles, but it was delicious. I didn't know duck could taste like steak. The portions were big, too, so I thought it was a good deal.

I had heard that the performances at this place were very Burning Man. I had heard correctly. A drag queen came out and lip-synced to Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart," then "Tomorrow" from Annie, and we also saw some belly-dancing. Apparently contortionists show up a lot, too. Not my bag, people. However, I was so cozy in my bed that I didn't care. Go ahead, I thought, swallow that fire. Ride that unicycle.

The Dutch Ryan Seacrest was sniffing his duck and gave me a wink. My Jane Eyre companion was telling me about how she is on the design team that is redoing Caesar's Palace in Vegas. The vampire woman came over and slid up next to me. "You smell nice," I told her. "For the undead."

And you know what? If I hadn't come alone, none of this would have happened. — Katy St. Clair

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