"Yes," said Lucas, "it makes no sense. But it comes down to lyingto a person, to betraying another person. And that is separate from any moral arguments surrounding open sexuality."

Dadgummit, he's right. Even Sartre would have to agree. Maybe. Bacchus, however, would probably lay out a nice spread of bread and cheese, put on some late '90s trip hop, and fluff up the pillows for me and my sinful paramour. Heck, he might even throw in the donkey. OK, Bacchus wins. Plus, I'm a big, big fan of agriculture. Theater, eh. But earth husbandry? Count me in. —Katy St. Clair

TONIGHT, Wednesday Dec. 13, come to Elixir in the Mission at 9 p.m. The Bouncer will be bartending! All tips go to charity. Morality optional.

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