Imagine a dream where dozens of people dress like Pee-wee Herman, some decidedly punk about it, and run through the streets shouting the maestro's lines. To set the mood, here are some of those lines: "I'm trying to use the phone!" "I know you are but what am I?" "Good morning, Mr. Breakfast," and the exquisite "You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." You've probably figured this out: That dream happens today. In a benefit for St. James Infirmary and the Center for Sex and Culture, the Drunken Redheaded Sluts present Paul Reubens' Day V. Since this fifth sex-positive blitz is something of a milestone, part one of the event, the parade of Pee-wees known as The Big Adventure, visits some of the favorite haunts of previous tours, including bars, parks, and toy stores for children both young (the toys squeak) and old (they vibrate). This is where attendees get all those cherished "Why aren't we part of this? Waaaaaa!" looks from pedestrians going about their sober, boring days. Part two consists of the Playhouse Party, a decadent blast with burlesque performers, DJs, and movie clips, including ones from the most infamous porn film of all time (at least for those who wept on July 26, 1991): the one dear Pee-wee was heartily enjoying before the big, bad officer arrived. Harrumph!
Of course, attendance at today's PRD will mean little if you don't dress up, so pick out your finest Pee-wee, talking chair, or ghostly trucker outfit, and memorize those lines!