Christ Almighty

Labeling your film fest "underground" is not much of a lure, since movies created down there can often be uninspiring, uninteresting, unwatchable -- hence its location. But put your faith in the San Francisco Underground Short Film Festival. It's a Peaches Christ deal, and that lady knows a thing or two about hosting sordid cinema, having presided over Midnight Mass for years. She's packaged a unique batch of films with co-organizer Vinsantos, including T. Arthur Cottam's Filthy Food, in which a woman with red lipstick has massive oral sex with her lunch (bananas, hot dogs, cookie dough) and then gets squirted by heavy cream. It's like porn with food, with a heavy emphasis on the porn. Laura Dean's Arnold Hearts Hummer concerns what the governor does to his SUV when he's feeling randy (and we do not mean he washes it). Sadie Lune, local sex artist/performer/model extraordinaire, directs Yum. We don't know what Yum is about, but we do know what Lune is about, so scoot low in your chair and get comfortable. And then there's Placenta Ovaries' No Fatties, which appears to be about vomiting. OK!

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• Sadie Lune
• Torsten Kretchzmar
• Steffen Frech
• Arts, Entertainment, and Media
• Film Festivals

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Aside from the sex and vomit, other highlights include electro-genius Torsten Kretchzmar, who gets doted on in Steffen Frech's I Know What Girls Like. And Jose Montesinos' The Winds of Time features the homemade karate battles of the Stunt People, who also appear at the 4 Star on Thursday. The show starts with a rock performance by Vinsantos' band Evolution Rainbow, with Christ on the mic. We've kept the festival's good-time-guarantee clause for last: No film is over 15 minutes, and most don't even get near 10.
Sat., Sept. 1