Whiskery Goodness

Albanians have almost as many words for mustache as Eskimos have for snow (fshes means drooping with bristly hairs, holl means thin, dirs ur means the newly sprouted fur of an adolescent). In English, we are relegated to style: the Dali, the Walrus, the Hungarian, the Fu Manchu, the Pancho Villa, the Toothbrush, Handlebar, the Imperial, the Mouthbrow, the GG, the Horseshoe. But there is no limit to the power and the imagination of the mustache lover. Throughout history, man has proudly displayed his virility and silliness through the deportment of his facial hair. When out of fashion, mustache lovers have banded together, demanding amnesty for their whiskers during local competitions and marches. Some of these events have grown into dizzying fetes of fuzzy conceit such as the World Beard and Moustache Championships; others have created charities like Mustaches for Kids, which raised $11,000 for San Francisco's Homeless Children's Network last year. At this year's 'Stache Bash, challengers in the four-week grow-off will compete in a runway walk and talent competition featuring categories such as the Mustache Haiku and the Guinness Beer Foam Retention Test. Money will be raised. Swooning will ensue.
Thu., Dec. 13, 7:30 p.m., 2007