Dildo Juggler! Dildo Juggler!

While April Fool's Day is San Francisco's most emblematic holiday, Valentine's Day is often our most triumphant. No other city in America is better able to peel the Hallmark holiday to reveal the sweat and semen of the early Lupercalia fertility rite on which it's based. And no sex-positive toy purveyor is better equipped or happier to help than Good Vibrations. During its Valentine fete, the Queen of Hearts Ball and Fairytale Pleasure Faire, an array of Good Vibes' more colorful tools of the trade — perhaps a blue Pandora Plug, a purple double-dipping Nexus, a glass Quasar, and a stainless-steel Barbell — are twirled and hurled by a dildo juggler. (You thought the headline was a joke?) Between go-go dancing and erotic fashion displays, members of the Vau de Vire Society tender trapeze and contortion; delirious grinds are offered by the Good Vibrations Dancers featuring Trizzie Carr and Tricksie Treat from the Lusty Lady and Sadie Luna; and reigning after-dark dignitaries Peaches Christ and Dr. Carol Queen remind us that, prior to Papal decree, February was the best month of the year for sex lotteries, orgiastic feasts, and getting whipped with bloody goatskins. If you're not quite sure how to properly whip someone with a bloody goatskin, check the Good Vibrations Web site for classes.
Thu., Feb. 14, 8 p.m., 2008