You're Stupid. No, You're Stupid. No YOU'RE Stupid.

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• April Fools' Day
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It's time once again for the Saint Stupid's Day Parade, held annually on April Fools' Day. The idea is to exorcise the day-to-day stupidity of your year, to point out how stupid the government is, and to wear a loud outfit. Colorful signs, decked-out bicycles, and clown noses are especially welcome. (Surely someone can draw a connection between the recent massive cuts in school funding and … stupidity?) For some, the parade's main event is the sock exchange, in which everyone brings a sock, throws it high in the air, and tries to catch a different one. But at the "Stations of the Stupid" along the way, many other activities are fun for the whole family, including mysterious rituals (aka throwing pennies) at the hard, cold, shiny sculpture formerly known as the Banker's Heart. The organizers also plan to once again cover the mechanic statue's butts at the end of Spear, climb up, and make proclamations from various high places, and basically smear most of downtown with goofy antics. You, cubicle drone, can either watch or join. You'll feel stupid either way.
Tue., April 1, noon, 2008