Cable cars, the Golden Gate Bridge, Lombard Street? Sweet. Gourmet restaurants, gorgeous scenery, great shopping? Yeah, yeah, yeah all fine and glamorous. But when we think "San Francisco lifestyle," wed rather commit Cyclecide. That is to say, were crazy about Pedal Monster Weekend. Thats when the "heavy pedal bike rodeo" coalition of punks, gearheads, clowns, and alcoholics collectively called Cyclecide celebrates the best things in life which, in order of importance, seem to be mutant bicycles, D.I.Y. carnival rides, Mad Max, greasy denim, and beer mixed with all the above. This monstrous party begins with a Friday night poker run, i.e., a bike-powered pub crawl during which you collect playing cards at each stop and the drunkard with the best hand at nights end scores fab prizes. Saturday, though, is the real classy bash. Thats when you get to slug cheap tequila in a junkyard, watch leather-clad Muppets play heavy metal, whirl on a pedal-powered Ferris wheel, spin your liver in the "Cyclofuge," and generally attempt to maintain your balance (and sense of decorum) while wild carny-punx have chicken fights on 10-foot-high bicycles. Last clown standing wins.