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Jane, You Ignorant Drunk

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By Michael Leaverton

Published on December 12, 2008 at 4:23am

Vinting is the new writing, at least for celebrities looking to travel the country selling something. Plus you get drunk on your product and not just when the reviews come out. Dan Aykroyd is the latest star to show up with a crate of bottles and an already-in-the-wine-biz partner, DeLoach Vineyards of the Russian River Valley. (To be fair, Aykroyd does have a nice Canadian line of wines going.) Here to launch his Discovery Series Sonoma County Wines (champion name, Dan!) with a local chardonnay and cabernet sauvignon, he'll sign your bottle and smile pleasantly when you say, "Jane, you ignorant slut."

On Jan. 2, the wine-celebrity thing tips over and rolls into the gutter with the three-hour appearance of Maynard James Keenan at a supermarket. If you’ve never owned a Camaro or worked as a delivery guy through your 20s, Keenan is the lead singer of Tool. He's also owns a winery, Caduceus Cellars, and has been hitting West Coast Whole Foods to sell his bottles. When did the world stop spinning?
Thu., Dec. 18, 4 p.m., 2008