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Our critics weigh in on local theater

16th Annual Kung Pao Kosher Comedy: Jewish comedy and Chinese food. Dec. 24-27. New Asia Restaurant, 772 Pacific (at Grant), 522-3737.

BATS: Sunday Players: Each week Bay Area Theatresports players pit their improv work against all comers as the audience votes them off one by one until the winner stands alone on the stage. Sundays, 7 p.m., $5-$8, Bayfront Theater, Fort Mason, Bldg. B, Marina & Buchanan, 474-8935.

Beach Blanket Babylon: A North Beach perennial featuring crazy hats, media personality caricatures, a splash of romance, and little substance. $25-$65, Club Fugazi, 678 Green (at Powell), 421-4222.

A Christmas Carol: The A.C.T.'s celebrated show, directed by Domenique Lozano. Through Dec. 27. American Conservatory Theater, 415 Geary (at Mason), 749-2228,

Cinderella: Presented by the African-American Shakespeare Company. Through Dec. 28, $20-$25, Zeum Theater, 221 Fourth St. (at Howard), 820-3320.

The Golden Girls Christmas Episodes: w/ Heklina, Cookie Dough, Matthew Martin, & Pollo Del Mar. Through Dec. 27, $20, Mama Calizo's Voice Factory, 1519 Mission (at Van Ness), 690-9410,

Insignificant Others: An open run of L. Jay Kuo's musical, directed by George Quick, about five friends who move to San Francisco from the Midwest. Daily, Theatre 39 at Pier 39, 2 Beach (at Embarcadero).

Jesus Roast — The Celebrity Roast of Jesus H. Christ: The Son of God gets what's coming to him. Dec. 26-28. Stage Werx, 533 Sutter (at Powell),

Mr. YooWho's Holiday: Moshe Cohen clowns around. Fridays-Sundays. Continues through Dec. 28. Noh Space, 2840 Mariposa (at Florida), 621-7978.

The Nutcracker: The Tchaikovsky classic by the San Francisco Ballet. Through Dec. 28. War Memorial Opera House, 301 Van Ness (at Grove), 864-3330,

Oakland Ballet: The Nutcracker: Wed., Dec. 24, 11 a.m., $15-$50, all ages. Paramount Theatre, 2025 Broadway (at 20th St.), Oakland, 510-465-6400.

The Phantom of the Opera: Through Jan. 4. Orpheum Theater, 1192 Market (at Eighth St.), 512-7770.

Santaland Diaries: Through Jan. 4, 2009, 8 p.m., $25. Off-Market Theater, 965 Mission (at Fifth St.), 820-1656,

The Wizard of Oz: The classic for kids, directed by Stephanie Temple. Through Jan. 3. New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness (at Market), 861-8972,

Zanna, Don't: A Musical Fairy Tale: Tim Acito's musical about matchmaking. Through Jan. 18. New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness (at Market), 861-8972,

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