Chron's anniversary surprises

The San Francisco Chronicle is celebrating its 144th year, and says it will have 144 "surprises" for readers. What will some of them be? Here are our predictions.

• 144 layoffs

C.W. Nevius is irradiated at a planning committee meeting, gets super powers

• The Sporting Green returns, but this time is made from hemp

• Repurchase the Examiner and name it the Chronicle again for old time's sake

• Give editor-at-large Phil Bronstein a new, even less meaningful title

• Fact checking

• Home delivery now done by strippers

• Conservative columnist Debra Saunders finally admits to having a crush on Obama

• Take away Mark Morford's drugs, see what happens

• Publisher adopts a streetwise Asian kid and together they solve mysteries

Chip Johnson writes about something other than Ron Dellums

• Newsstand at Powell station to get open bar

Willie Brown to write about someone other than himself

• Matier and Ross finally get married — to each other

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