The Idea List

A mayoral spokesman recently explained that Gavin Newsom needed to be at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, because it's where he gets his "innovative ideas." With the city facing a $575 million budget shortfall, what are the Davos-inspired ideas Gavin is likely to unveil in the coming months?

•Bono must plant our next victory garden

•Secede from the U.S., establish a monarchy, print own municipal currency

•Soup kitchens should also serve locally grown organic arugula

•Create mayoral kissing booth: $5 for lip-to-lip, $10 for a little tongue action

•Steal Marin's lunch money

•Create a new job training program to help S.F.'s most poor and destitute become hedge fund managers  

•Instead of giving the next state-of-the-city address over 7.5 hours on YouTube, hire Bill Clinton to do it 

•Wear a helmet cam to the marital bed for pay-per-view spectaculars

•Steal Bill Gates' credit card, use it to pay off city deficit

•Fund a new "community court" specifically to handle the crimes of rich people

•Put Chris Daly up for auction on eBay

•Hire celebrity special-guest mayors to fill in while Newsom campaigns for governor

•Monitor area hospitals for the sucker born every minute

•Sell the Golden Gate Bridge to all the suckers born every minute (hint: We usually see them at Dolores Park)

 
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