Willie's Birthday Plans

Matier and Ross recently reported that former Mayor Willie Brown will celebrate his 75th birthday with a Paris blowout. How else will the city's bon vivant septuagenarian celebrate his birthday?

•Rig his 75th election

•Mention himself in the Chronicle

•Decide once and for all whether to will his fortune to his wife or mistress

•Get all excited about someone recognizing him

•Buy a new hat made from of the skin of his enemies

•Finally admit Gavin Newsom was a terrible mistake

•Bribe a respected public figure, just to prove he's still got it

•Call Jack Davis and remind him to bring the Jack Daniel's and the S&M performers to the party

•Blow out the candles and wish for a soul

•Not bother to see the doctor if his erection lasts longer than four hours

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