If San Francisco were a woman, shed be Kitten on the Keys: a coquettish fag hag with twirling tassels, sweeping vistas, and a raunchy rapier wit borne upon tinkling ivories. As such, artist Suzanne Ramsey received the highest honor a local can hope for: She was sainted by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Mainstream media tastemakers like E!, HBO, IFC, and Bravo have also succumbed to her charms; recently, cinematic bon vivant Mathieu Almaric (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly and Quantum of Solace) approached her to portray the MC of a burlesque troupe in his new film. So its sure to be springtime in Paris for Ramsey, but not before she highlights her hometown roots in Does This Piano Make My Ass Look Big?, Kitten on the Keys first one-maam show, which, like most of her work, is autobiographical. Despite corrective shoes and braces, a young girl from Walnut Creek dodges the pitfalls of pig farming, poor body image, and addiction by crossing the Bay Bridge and plunging into a world of fornicating plushies, toe-loving shrimpers, pony people, leather daddies, and overcozy folks on Muni. Somewhere between the interpretive liturgical dance and the song about Ramseys geriatric punk boyfriend (He has hepatitis C/Wakes up lots to pee), you will assuredly fall in love.
April 4-5, 8 p.m., 2009