S.F. supervisors' foie-gras-free menu

San Francisco supervisors have approved Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi's proposal that the city "commend" restaurants that have taken foie gras off their menus. What other menu changes do the Supes plan to commend?

• Remove General Tso's chicken from the menu to protest his horrific treatment of the Tibetan people

• Stop serving PlumpJack wines

• Fusion cuisine must actually generate renewable power

• Any restaurant that stops using plastic doggie bags gets an extra-special gold star

• Cook only eggs that wouldn't have hatched into a loving home

• Serve hash browns cooked up just the way Chris Daly likes 'em — or else, asshole!

• Change the name of "steak" to "murder slab"

• Serve more than four kinds of vegan-friendly syrup with pancakes

• Provide only sex-positive alcoholic beverages

• Cook soufflés that are fluffy. Fluffy, damn it!

• One word: Granola

• Abandon Niman Ranch beef and work directly with unionized cattle

• Serve Eric Mar's spicy hot sauce

• Cruelty-free tofu

• Menus themselves are now made from edible soy and are the only items available