All hail the new police chief

Mayor Gavin Newsom recently appointed George Gascón as San Francisco's new chief of police. What are the top criteria Newsom set out for the new chief?

• A visceral dislike of Chris Daly

• Strong in the Dark Side of the Force

• The audaciousness to praise "the mayor's leadership on this issue"

• Experience not cooperating with every level of government

• A love of San Francisco's unique culture and pay scale

• A willingness to arrest people for not composting their banana peels

• A commitment to Sanctuary City policies, no matter how ill-considered

• Someone photogenic enough to look good on Gavin's gubernatorial campaign literature

• Someone who has no experience with San Francisco politics — and who therefore will believe anything

• Compassion for the poor and homeless, unless they are protesting the mayor's budget cutbacks

• Shoots reporters first, takes questions later

• Has a cute wife