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All hail the new police chief

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By Benjamin Wachs

Published on June 22, 2009 at 3:36pm

Mayor Gavin Newsom recently appointed George Gascón as San Francisco's new chief of police. What are the top criteria Newsom set out for the new chief?

• A visceral dislike of Chris Daly

• Strong in the Dark Side of the Force

• The audaciousness to praise "the mayor's leadership on this issue"

• Experience not cooperating with every level of government

• A love of San Francisco's unique culture and pay scale

• A willingness to arrest people for not composting their banana peels

• A commitment to Sanctuary City policies, no matter how ill-considered

• Someone photogenic enough to look good on Gavin's gubernatorial campaign literature

• Someone who has no experience with San Francisco politics — and who therefore will believe anything

• Compassion for the poor and homeless, unless they are protesting the mayor's budget cutbacks

• Shoots reporters first, takes questions later

• Has a cute wife