After several months of negotiations, BART and its unions finally reached a tentative agreement last week to avoid a crippling transit strike. Here are some of the unions' demands that slowed down con-tract talks.

• All trains slow down at 4:20 p.m. for ghost riding

• Train operators now called train admirals

• No bikes, bums, or fat chicks allowed in the first car

• Muni drivers cannot make eye contact with BART operators

• Overtime pay now applies to regular hours

• Increase maximum speed from 50 mph to 750 mph

• Doors affixed with serrated edges

• Drivers allowed to sing karaoke over intercom during rush hour

• 15-minute breaks after every stop

• Management no longer permitted in the employee nightclub in the abandoned station under Union Square

• "Train arriving" announcer now Christopher Walken or William Shatner. Actually, make that a duet.

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