List: The Chronicle looks on the bright side

Last week, San Francisco Chronicle executives said they were "pleased" after learning that the paper's circulation has dropped 26 percent in six months. What else are Chron chieftains pleased about?

• Recent layoffs mean everybody finally gets a parking space

• The whole "newspapers are dying" panic gives the Chronicle a ton of free media. You can't buy that kind of publicity

• The Chronicle's expensive new presses create sharp, beautiful pictures for no one to look at

• People still pretend to read Matier and Ross

• This one guy they saw on the bus seemed really into an article on page 8

• A decline in display advertising finally gets news reporting out of the pockets of big business

• A decline in classified advertising finally gets news reporting out of the pockets of small business

• A decline in circulation finally gets news reporting out of the pockets of its readers

• Struggling newspapers have successfully "raised awareness" of their plight

• The Internet seems to really be catching on in San Francisco

• Chicks dig titans of a dying industry

• Nobody reads anymore, so nobody knows how little reporting they do

• There's a recession to blame every-thing on