List: Bridging the safety gap
In light of the recent structural failures on the Bay Bridge — even after repairs — how is Caltrans planning to ensure that the bridge remains safe in the future?
• Next time, use double-sided tape
• Positive thinking
• Include a wolf on the construction team: Wolves have supersharp senses
• Pay off Willie Brown, like the man asked
• Make it a "community bridge"that any San Franciscans can come and repair in their spare time
• Add more S-curves
• Ask the Board of Supervisors to pass a resolution urging the bridge not to collapse
• It doesn't matter: The Internet is making bridges obsolete
• Have everyone drive lighter cars
• Weatherproof it
• Gavin Newsom's secret recipe for hair product will keep anything in place
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