List: Bridging the safety gap

In light of the recent structural failures on the Bay Bridge — even after repairs — how is Caltrans planning to ensure that the bridge remains safe in the future?

• Next time, use double-sided tape

• Positive thinking

• Include a wolf on the construction team: Wolves have supersharp senses

• Pay off Willie Brown, like the man asked

• Make it a "community bridge"that any San Franciscans can come and repair in their spare time

• Add more S-curves

• Ask the Board of Supervisors to pass a resolution urging the bridge not to collapse

• It doesn't matter: The Internet is making bridges obsolete

• Have everyone drive lighter cars

• Weatherproof it

• Gavin Newsom's secret recipe for hair product will keep anything in place