Celebrity Thanksgiving Meals

We have a lot to be thankful for this year. Some of us more than others. Some not at all. What kind of turkey are we eating for Thanksgiving?

Mayor Gavin Newsom: Aloha turkey with humble pie

• Oakland Mayor Ron "Tax Cheat" Dellums: Chicken Top Ramen turkey

• Bay Bridge S-curve: Turkey truck

Giants' pitcher Tim Lincecum: Humboldt turkey with marijuana stuffing and bongwater soup

• Tenderloin junkie: Syringe of tryptophan

Barry Bonds: Giant turkey fed with human growth hormones

• Mission hipster: Horrible traditional turkey with lame family in stupid suburbs

Supervisor Chris Daly of Fairfield: Horrible traditional turkey with lame family in stupid suburbs

Bernie Ward: Turkey sandwich with a side of someone shoving his face into a pillow at lights-out

• Former Supervisor Aaron "Drunk Dialing" Peskin: Cold turkey

• Guy who owns a pot house: Whatever's rolling around in the 7-Eleven hot box

Bruce Brugmann: Turkey stuffed with hot air and a side of shut the fuck up

 
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