List: Standardized skools

The San Francisco school district recently voted to adopt a new system for determining how students are assigned to schools. How will the new system work?

• The old incomprehensible formula will be replaced by a new incomprehensible formula

• A sorting hat

• Students will be assigned to schools based on the intensity of their parents' complaints

• Racial segregation will be rebranded as "empowerment"

• Schools will be assigned on the basis of student test scores. It all boils down to test scores in the end, right?

• Rich students will be guaranteed places in good schools, teaching everyone a valuable life lesson

• All the neighborhood schools will be combined into one giant central school, so that nobody wins

• Astrology

• It doesn't matter what the new system is, since the school district will run out of money before it can be implemented

• It doesn't matter what the new system is, because it will never be implemented effectively

• It doesn't matter what the new system is, since San Franciscans are never satisfied