List: How to Fix S.F.'s Crime Lab

The news keeps getting worse for San Francisco's beleaguered crime lab. What steps can the city take to restore confidence in it?

• Move it to a city where they hire competent people

• Crack down on casual Fridays — it's gotten a little too casual

• Promote the drug-sniffing dogs to management positions

• Seal shoeboxes containing evidence with masking tape

• Employees must wash hands after using the bathroom

• Test the DNA of everybody, even the people who really look innocent

• Stop boiling the evidence before testing it

• No shoes, no shirt, no science

• No longer test blood samples to see who is a likely Newsom voter

• If drugs are being used as evidence, they're off limits. Bring your own damn drugs

Show up to work sober