I took the 6-year-old who lives in my house to the Sunday-afternoon sneak preview of Furry Vengeance. He is a savvy consumer of kids' popular culture — my greatest parenting triumph thus far. He knew from the myriad Disney Channel commercials (the movie stars Matt Prokop of High School Musical 3) that Furry V featured computer-generated animals inflicting all manner of cruel wackiness upon humans, and so he asked, "Is it in 3D? Because every other kids' movie is." I told him no (he was crushed — crushed), and that if he'd seen the commercials he should know we'd be lucky it if was in focus. Ninety minutes later, we agreed that Furry Vengeance was in B-A-D. Well, I decided this — he argued that it was actually quite hilarious.
The simple thesis of the movie is very much made for the 6-year-old to, oh, let's say 6-and-a-half-year-old set: People do bad things to the planet, such as build sprawling housing developments where they shouldn't, in this case an unspoiled forest populated by pissed-off woodland creatures who've wrought generations' worth of hilarious pain upon would-be settlers. (As opposed to building sprawling subdivisions on top of sacred Indian burial grounds or portals to Hell, which would be different movies entirely.)
Furry Vengeance isn't really a movie at all; it's a message provided by the good people at Participant Media, who've brought you, among other entertainments, Food, Inc. (which will make you never want to eat again), The Cove (which is a sort of espionage caper, except it ends with the real-life slaughter of hundreds of dolphins), and the forthcoming Climate of Change (a Tilda Swinton–narrated doc about ordinary folks' efforts worldwide to combat global warming). The film's Web site offers kids an activity guide and redirects them to the Endangered Species Coalition, the Wilderness Society, and Defenders of Wildlife. They all but print the lesson plan on biodegradable popcorn boxes. In other words, Participant knows comedy!
Brendan Fraser plays Dan, a pudgy schnook who uprooted his family (including Brooke Shields, who has never looked comfortable playing funny) to the wild in order to tear it down at the behest of his boss. The boss, incidentally, is played by the increasingly ubiquitous Ken Jeong — who, when he isn't saying things like "It's not about green — it's about the shades of gray," will occasionally speak in high-pitched Japanese, thus rendering Furry Vengeance both eco-friendly and vaguely racist. The film also stars Rob Riggle and Samantha Bee of The Daily Show.
The animals — chiefly, a raccoon and a squirrel — revolt when they catch wind of the developers' plan to pave, baby, pave. And, yes, this sounds exactly like a cross between the Eddie Murphy Doctor Dolittle movies (which were, oddly, more clever — though I refuse to recall exactly how) and the animated Over the Hedge, in which the raccoon was voiced by Bruce Willis and Steve Carell played the squirrel who became addicted to humans' junk food and equally crap culture. The animals here don't talk, which is the movie's one saving grace. Their facial reactions and gestures are still computer-augmented, though, and during the climactic smackdown, most of the creatures are entirely CG. It's not a cartoon, but it almost is.
Fraser is put through the wringer — I've never felt sorrier for an actor. Clearly, he lost a bet to Participant founder Jeff Skoll. Then again, my kid was tickled by the sight of a dude with a huge belly being slathered in bird shit, skunk spray, gallons of tomato juice, and Porta-Potti piss. Maybe that isn't such a parenting triumph after all.
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