List: Physical graffitti

Three Heads Six Arms, the enormous Buddha statue in Civic Center, has been tagged by vandals. What is the city doing to protect the statue?

• Sit-lie law

• Addressing the underlying causes, like poverty and racism, that led to this problem

• Gavin Newsom will issue a press release

• Eric Mar will propose a nonbinding resolution

• Condemning the perpetrators to a thousand painful reincarnations

• Pointing out that it's not really a Buddha so much as a mishmash of Buddhist iconography that, coming from China as it does, is kind of appalling, given that country's refusal to let Tibetans practice their own authentic form of Buddhism. Yeah, that's right: We noticed

• Give the police massive amounts of overtime. And they don't have to tell the supes how much they spent on deity protection

• Tell everyone the statue is for Burning Man, so they should leave it alone

• Hey, at least it wasn't struck by lightning, unlike some other divinities we might mention