Three Heads Six Arms, the enormous Buddha statue in Civic Center, has been tagged by vandals. What is the city doing to protect the statue?
Sit-lie law
Addressing the underlying causes, like poverty and racism, that led to this problem
Gavin Newsom will issue a press release
Eric Mar will propose a nonbinding resolution
Condemning the perpetrators to a thousand painful reincarnations
Pointing out that it's not really a Buddha so much as a mishmash of Buddhist iconography that, coming from China as it does, is kind of appalling, given that country's refusal to let Tibetans practice their own authentic form of Buddhism. Yeah, that's right: We noticed
Give the police massive amounts of overtime. And they don't have to tell the supes how much they spent on deity protection
Tell everyone the statue is for Burning Man, so they should leave it alone
Hey, at least it wasn't struck by lightning, unlike some other divinities we might mention
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