List: Proposition 8 backers' new strategies
What strategies will defenders of Proposition 8 use in their appeal of last week's decision in federal court overturning 2008's anti-gay-marriage law?
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• Point out that the word "gay" never appears in the Constitution
• Demand a do-over
• Call Jesus to testify — with a subpoena this time
• Come up with a better rhyme than "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve"
• Write a country music song
• Send the appellate court judges videos of Gavin Newsom's "whether you like it or not" speech
• Get testimonials of even more concerned parents saying even more hateful things
• Request a venue change to the Vatican
• Demand an unbiased judge. Who hates gay people
• This time, they'll actually mount a case
• Hurry up and take control of Congress so they can derail this while there's still time
• Rewrite history
• Ask that evidence, of any kind, no longer be admissible
• Get cuter children to hold the God Hates Fags signs
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