If you never want to get a tattoo, visit a tattoo convention. A lot of bad tattoos show up at tattoo conventions. Depending on how spiteful and angry you are, you can go around feeling smug that you didn't get, say, "I'm Awsome" across your back, or realistic ribs poking through your chest. You can also find out whether advances in face tattooing have yet to produce a good one. Our local Body Art Expo, however, features the best reason to attend a tattoo convention: a homeground burlesque show, hosted by Miss Eva von Slut (covered in tattoos) and featuring much-loved favorites Dottie Lux (double helix down the spine), Sparkly Devil (ladies on shoulders), Bunny Pistol (assorted bats and things), and Ophelia Coeur de Noir (to be determined). Other events, which may be the best or the worst depending on what you have drunk, include the Hot Ass Contest, the Hot Babe and Hot Stud Contests, and the Best Orgasm Contest. If you're shocked by any of that, then maybe it's time to visit a tattoo convention.
Aug. 20-22, 2 p.m., 2010