Were always glad to hear that some people had a good time in their ballet classes when they were little girls. So glad. Because a lot of us are still pissed off that we spent so much time doing pliés, hanging around other bunheads, and, worst of all, idolizing anyone who could perform 32 consecutive fouettés and could therefore take the lead double role in Swan Lake. In an unfortunate coincidence, some of us also have very ballerina-sounding names with the word "swan" in them, leading otherwise reasonable decision-making adults to the conclusion that ballet dancing was our "destiny." To our rescue comes ArtFace Performance Group and guest choreographer Zari Le'on, who present their own version of Swan Lake. We happen to know that ArtFace's choreographer, Isabelle Sjahsam (which we so hope is pronounced "shazam") is RAD. That's right: Sjahsam is a ballet instructor certified by the scourge of laissez-faire dancers everywhere, the Royal Academy of Dance, aka the very last leg of British cultural imperialism. Do not trust her! She's one of "them." Le'on, on the other hand, is a regular nice person, whose athletic, modern dance style often takes cues from Rosie Perez's perfect-in-every-way solo to Public Enemy's "Fight the Power" during the opening credits of Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing. Obviously, these are the kind of influences you need to improve the world's most famous (hidebound, prissy, nonsensical, whiteness-worshipping) classical ballet, Swan Lake.
Oct. 1-2, 8 p.m., 2010