For any GOP stalwart looking for more evidence that our fine city is a haven for homosexuals, deviants, and socialists, add this to your list: The San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band is leading a production of The Nutcracker that includes showgirls, drag queens, a female Elvis impersonator, and you, the people, wearing ridiculous outfits. To make it one notch more absurd, there's a nautical theme, with pirates, mermaids, and ocean-liner paraphernalia. Artistic director Jadine Louie has described the result, the Dance-Along Nutcracker 2010 Gay-La, as The Love Boat hits the Barbary Coast hard. That's right, anyone and everyone gets to participate, with the guidance of professional dancers whose farcical looks are outdone only by the rented tutus and fairy wands of the masses. The Twilight Vixen Revue is on hand, as are cabana boys and girls from Cheer SF. Tonight's alt-ballet, which features cocktails and a midnight buffet, is for the grownups; the kids can dance along during productions that have been, um, stripped of the burlesque factor. The war on Christmas has never looked so glamorous.
Sat., Dec. 11, 7 p.m., 2010