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List: How S.F. will pick its mayor 

Wednesday, Dec 8 2010

This week, the Board of Supervisors formally began picking a mayor to serve out the rest of Gavin Newsom's term. How will the board make its selection?

• Whoever comes up with the craziest thing to ban next wins

• Cage match

• They will use a complicated mathematical formula to determine who will piss off Gavin Newsom and Chris Daly equally

• Ouija board

• Appoint a committee to draft a report no one will read — and then it will be time for the election

• Check to see whether any journalists have written on the subject

• Masturbate-a-thon

• Whatever makes the Internet happy

• An amazing race

• A series of inevitable lawsuits will eventually determine the winner

About The Author

Benjamin Wachs


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