Eight Top Things Twitter Wants from San Francisco

Social networking company Twitter is threatening to move its offices to Brisbane, Calif., unless San Francisco makes concessions. What concessions is Twitter demanding?

• All new laws must be 140 characters or fewer

• Jane Kim's profile photo should be way hotter

• Willie Brown needs to stop requesting an extra 10 characters for his friends

• The mid-Market area must be renamed "Tweetville"

• The city must provide free translation services for those who wish to read tweets in Spanish, Mandarin, and Tagalog

• A majority of city voters must pass a ballot measure admitting that Facebook is a huge time suck

• David Chiu's tweets need to show some personality

• More money in tax breaks than Twitter could possibly be worth in a rational economy