Idol Worship

The bellowing pomp-and-dime-store pageantry of Super Bowl Sunday may provide the truest glimpse of America’s soul, but we prefer the high-rent hubris of Oscar night. And the best way to watch the hopelessly awkward Academy Awards telecast — Hollywood’s time-honored tradition of autofellatio and collective amnesia — is with a crowd of acid-tongued San Franciscans. For starters, the walk along 16th Street to Up the Oscars! is infinitely more colorful (using our definition of “color”) than the stars’ L.A. limo rides to the ceremony. Once you're inside, the combination of free hors d’oeuvres, orchestrated high-jinks, a costume contest, giveaways, and slightly lit wiseguys and -gals (you are heartily encouraged to bring your own bottle) tossing bon mots at the screen guarantees you’ll have a much better time than the constipated, nerve-wracked nominees. Across town and near the ocean, the Unique Oscar Party offers a slightly more respectful alternative, with master of ceremonies Reed Kirk Rahlmann and keyboard maestro Raoul Brody goading the crowd into a variety of Old Hollywood–inspired activities during the commercials. Dress up, act out, hoot at the dresses, and mock the speeches (the king's included). It’s the American way.

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• Academy Awards
• Unique Oscar Party
• Raoul Brody
• Arts, Entertainment, and Media
• Film Awards

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Up the Oscars! starts at 3:45 p.m. at the Roxie Theater, 3117 16th St. (at Valencia), S.F. Admission is $15; call 863-1087 or visit www.roxie.com. The Unique Oscar Party starts at 3:30 p.m. at the Balboa Theatre, 3630 Balboa (at 37th Ave.), S.F. Admission is $10; call 221-8184 or visit www.balboamovies.com.
Sun., Feb. 27, 2011