Will You Be My Ultrahip Valentine?

What did San Francisco couples do for Valentine's Day?

• Confessed to each other how deeply disappointed they are in President Obama

• Mocked Christianity

• Traded genders for the day

• Changed their Facebook status to reflect the depth of their feelings

• Refused to celebrate their love until Burma is free

• Purchased free-trade cards from local retailers and read them ironically

• Celebrated an even hipper holiday that no one in the Midwest knows about yet

• Broke out the special-occasion pot

• Suggested we see other people