California Family Courts Helping Pedophiles, Batterers Get Child Custody

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Joyce Murphy (right) fled California with her daughter because family-court officials wouldn’t listen to her accusations against her ex-husband. He was later 
sentenced to prison for sex crimes.
Courtesy of Joyce Murphy
Joyce Murphy (right) fled California with her daughter because family-court officials wouldn’t listen to her accusations against her ex-husband. He was later sentenced to prison for sex crimes.
Rex Anderson (left) and Henry “Bud” Parson were both convicted of child molestation after family courts awarded them custody of their daughters.
Courtesy of Califonia Department of Justice
Rex Anderson (left) and Henry “Bud” Parson were both convicted of child molestation after family courts awarded them custody of their daughters.

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Karen Anderson suspected that something strange was going on between her ex-husband, Rex Anderson, and their 15-year-old daughter. Prior to the couple's separation in 1998, the girl would sometimes put on high heels and makeup, "visiting" her dad while he worked late at night in the family's basement. It was the same retreat in which he stored the dildos and artificial vaginas he used to stimulate himself sexually.

After the divorce, Rex was given primary custody of his daughter, as well as the couple's 8-year-old son. Karen says this was because he had a full-time job as a facilities engineer at Santa Clara Valley Medical Center, while she was unemployed. While staying with her on weekends, her daughter would sometimes say she hated herself and wanted to die.

In 1999, Anderson, a resident of San Jose, decided to take her concerns to Santa Clara County Family Court. Like similar courts across the state, it is charged with adjudicating high-conflict divorces — managing the division of property, child support payments, and the often bitter process of establishing a plan for shared child-rearing. She urged the court to investigate whether her daughter was at risk of sexual molestation, and whether Rex's custody rights should be restricted as a result.

Family Court Judge James Stewart temporarily barred the children from seeing their father while the court looked into the abuse claims. But instead of seeking evidence as to whether molestation was taking place, he hired a Menlo Park–based psychologist, Leslie Packer, to evaluate both parents. Among Packer's tasks was to assess, in light of their psychological profiles, whether the accusations were likely to be true. After a series of interviews and personality tests, such as the Rorschach inkblot test, she delivered her opinion: Karen's fears for her daughter were unfounded.

"Karen's suspiciousness goes to the extent of paranoid thinking, particularly in regard to her husband's actions," Packer wrote in an evaluation delivered to the court. "There is a basis in her concerns with her husband's unusual sexual practices, but it appears that most of her speculations about her husband's possible sexualized attitudes toward their daughter are not based upon documented or reality-based evidence." Rex regained primary custody of his children.

Today, Rex Anderson is serving a 23-year sentence at Pleasant Valley State Prison in Coalinga. In 2003, he pleaded no contest to 25 counts of sex crimes against his daughter, including child molestation, sexual penetration of a child with a foreign object, and use of a minor to create pornography. When she turned 18, his daughter left his care and reported years of abuse to police in El Dorado County, where they were living. (SF Weekly is withholding her name as a victim of child sexual abuse.)

Seldom are a parent's allegations against an estranged former spouse rejected out of hand, only to be vindicated so completely. Yet observers say the Anderson case represents just one unfortunate outcome of systemic problems in the family courts' methods for investigating accusations of abuse.

Looking out for the children who find themselves in the middle of bitter divorces is the most important function of the state's family courts, and arguably one of the most significant duties of the judiciary as a whole. Yet evidence has mounted in recent years that it is a responsibility in which family court officials are sometimes failing dramatically.

Interviews with dozens of parents, activists, lawyers, judges, children, and former family court employees, as well as a review of hundreds of pages of family and criminal court documents, indicate that the system's methods for assessing whether child sexual abuse or spousal battery has taken place — findings that are critical to deciding whether a parent should retain custody of or visitation rights with a child — fall short of the standards accepted by domestic-violence experts and the criminal-justice community.

The results can be tragic. In some cases, such as Anderson's, abuse allegations have been confirmed decisively, in the form of criminal convictions, after a poor custody decision was made. In others, court officials have ignored existing domestic-violence convictions, sending children to live with admitted batterers. In at least one case, an infant boy lost his life because of a judge's refusal to take seriously warnings about an unstable parent.

Family court officials face difficult decisions in cases where the truth is often clouded by high emotions. Every day, in courtrooms throughout the state, those decisions doubtless lead to many beneficial outcomes for the children whose futures are at stake. In the morass of ill will and "he-said, she-said" exchanges that characterize bitter divorces, the facts can be hard to tease out.

For this reason, SF Weekly has focused exclusively on cases, both in the San Francisco Bay Area and the rest of California, where allegations of domestic violence or child molestation were backed up by criminal convictions — and, in one case, a murder-suicide. In all of them, the courts seem to have failed to follow basic procedures, including some dictated by state law, for weighing evidence of a parent's abusiveness before making crucial custody decisions.

Absent an exhaustive review of the state's family courts, it is impossible to say how common such cases are. The reasoning that guides custody decisions can also be difficult to decipher. Court officials — including a number of those approached for this article — frequently decline to explain their decisions or recommendations, citing client confidentiality or judicial ethics.

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  • 02/20/2012 4:10:00 PM

    http://www.change.org/petitions/stop-california-court-order-to-remove-my-son-of-puerto-rico

  • Fred 02/12/2012 10:06:00 PM

    either parent can be a jerk or mentally ill. Listen to the kids. They know. Let them set up the visitation schedules. They aren't chattle to be passed around like luggage.

  • Fred 02/12/2012 10:04:00 PM

    You really don't know your facts at all. The organizations for father rights have skewed the courts toward the father, the kid and mother have no rights. Too many psychologists are for sale. The MFT and Psych boards should pull their credentials.

  • Fred 02/12/2012 10:01:00 PM

    Go to Shirley Buckley in Santa Ana.

  • Fred 02/12/2012 9:56:00 PM

    In Iowa, a 14 yr old can get married, and in any state, have an abortion but teens have the rights of a newborn in visitation. There is a law that says that the court should listen to the teen but it does not give the teen any rights. Social Service is the only solution. But realize that family court has a way of influencing dependency court too. It is all corrupt. Parent Alienation....my rear end....and this is coming from a 15 yr old who has been in the system for over eleven years. If you really want a relationship, then vistation should be fun. If the kid does not want to go overnight, then do a day visit. But if you are a sadistic jerk who just wants to torment the kid, then it is not parent alienation...and you're a jerk. If the kid has a good time with the other parent, then nobody can break it apart. Just be there and offer a good time. The kid will be back. But in my case, I don't want money, trips, gifts, or any other hooks. There is a terrible movie called "Mysery." The added features does a psychological analysis of the villian. If it sounds like your parent, then get as far away as possible.

  • Fred 02/12/2012 9:43:00 PM

    Yes...in family court...money wins no matter what the evidence shows. My father had lots paid psychologists. I went for counseling and would be mentally tortured. I am turing 15 and hope to get a new law that teens cannot be forced to visit. In Iowa a 14 yr old can get married, and in any state, have an abortion but then we have the rights of a newborn in visitation. There is a California law that says that the court should listen to the teen but it does not give the teen any rights. The abusers will always claim parent alienation. Sadistic people enjoy that the kid is forced to be there and terrorizes the kid the entire weekend. If the parent has not made a connect by 12 yr old...give it up. In the Jewish religion girls are adults at 12 and boys at 13. Teens should not be forced to visit against their will. The lawyer Gloria Allred told me to fight and fight and fight. She sent me her book.

  • Fred 02/12/2012 9:32:00 PM

    To Eidienorth531: Try Shirley Buckley in Santa Ana...714...973...9111....Your child needs to call social service and tell them that he is unsafe. 3 years is nothing. my father took my mother to court for over ten years. the secret to social service is to keep calling. they have to investigate each time. if your son does not get any help, then ask to go into foster care. in foster care, he won't be forced to go with his dad and the family court cannot punish him by attacking you. Yes...in family court...money wins no matter what the evidence shows. My father had lots paid psychologists. I went for counseling and would be mentally tortured. I am turing 15 and hope to get a new law that teens cannot be forced to visit. In Iowa a 14 yr old can get married, and in any state, have an abortion but then we have the rights of a newborn in visitation. There is a law that says that the court should listen to the teen but it does not give the teen any rights. Social Service is the only solution. But realize that family court has a way of influencing dependency court too. It is all corrupt. But the social workers will be your son's only advocate. He has to do it...not you. The abusers will always claim parent alienation. Sadistic people enjoy that the kid is forced to be there and terrorized the entire weekend. write to these people: cppa001@aol.com; protectiveparents.mn@gmail.com;

  • Eidienorth531 11/18/2011 7:55:00 PM

    Where can I go in LA county to get help. I am losing a child. His dad has successfully swayed the court evaluator. I had a lazy lawyer. My new one has good intentions but nobody knows how slick, (sociopathic), the other parent is & seem to believe him. All were provided with lots of documentation & evidence but I'm watching the ship sink. I've spent all of my resources. After 3 years of fighting & paying retainers, I think it's over.

  • 11/04/2011 7:40:00 AM

    Alarmist propaganda Women are given primary physical custody as a matter of course in this country. The vast majority of abused children are abused by their mothers. This is a well established fact that can be verified with a simple google search.

  • Remove the Blinders 10/11/2011 7:25:00 PM

    Truth hurts? If you refuse to see that there are people who falsely accuse in custody disputes, then you must be guilty of that behavior.

  • 09/23/2011 9:31:00 PM

    Nobody- but- that's what abusers DO ! Abuse, whine and snivel- and fling around theusual blame, myths etc.-

  • 09/23/2011 9:24:00 PM

    You display a tremendous lack of information in the subject are of CDV. (criminal domestic violence)

  • Megalina 09/23/2011 9:10:00 PM

    the statiistic of domestic violence is way off realistically - it maybe factually from what has been reported correct. There is a huge bias to response to men who are abused by their partners. To complicate the issue is the society who thinks men can't be abused they are men and stronger then women. This is an idiot view to have. They are just as easily abused as any woman can be. Most men would have a huge problem admitting to it publicly or to any official. Mostly due to personal pride but also police officers are known to not take these reports seriously. So the only reason the numbers of women being the victim is so high is because they have no problem with admitting to being abused by a man. In many domestic violence issues women start the abuse and when the male partner reacts and hits her defending himself or out of anger and reaction to her abuse - the man gets blamed because of the view people have in their minds seeing the men overpowering women only rather than any facts which could show otherwise. Its easier to blame the men all the time which is accepted then to investigate all the facts. I personally know men who were abused by the women they lived with. They endured the abuse for years and years not saying anything to any of the friends who knew them both. I asked them after it was obviously a problem and came to our attention when one was shot and died - why did neither of you tell anyone? He said who would believe us? He thought he would be laughed at because he was a big manly man. Women may be smaller but they abuse men way more then what is reported honestly.

  • 09/23/2011 7:17:00 PM

    How do you know? What do you mean? Do you have evidence/proof... What are you going to do about it? What do you want ME to do about it? love to all...

  • 09/23/2011 3:52:00 PM

    This is happening in our homes and OUR SCHOOLS!

  • Spanaya 09/22/2011 10:23:00 PM

    Thanks for sharing Deborah... I have a couple friends that are going throught what you explained. You nailed it right on the head.

  • 09/22/2011 5:13:00 AM

    Yes, abusers sound like that. And so do narcissists, which most abusers can also claim as one of their personality traits. Believe me, I have way too much experience with the men who abuse women and take their children, not only so they don't have to pay child support, but so they can make the women "pay" for getting away... just like they had to pay for any form of disagreement with the men who controlled and abused them. Yes, we KNOW what you sound like. We've heard it so many times before, and possibly one of us, even knows YOU. AND I don't even CARE anymore if you know what I have to say because you have HURT ME AN MY FAMILY SO MUCH - show me what you've got, I WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP AND SOMEDAY YOUR CHILDREN WILL KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO THEIR MOTHER. love to all... lonely nanna in florida

  • Elhickster 09/22/2011 5:05:00 AM

    I agree, exactly how one would respond, project, defer, blame, smoke&mirrors, bs and cowardice. If you aren't one, then you should know, you responded exactly like one, and they(batterers, abusers, sociopaths, etc) are amazingly consistent in that regard. And if you find that insulting, then I'd bet my life you are one. A reasonable, normal person would just restate their point more clearly.......

  • Focus 09/15/2011 8:40:00 PM

    you're probably one of the abusers, trying to find a way to abuse

  • Nobody 09/14/2011 7:35:00 AM

    I could tell you my own story; it's equally as miserable. It's very much like the first story, false accusations, embellishments, legal abuse....and it worked. It's difficult to site abuse when there are no bruises.Psychological terrorism is a different animal altogether. He got custody of MY children. A pedophile, into child pornography, sexually abused my daughter for years...in front of her brother!! Hey and get this...I HAD to pay him child support. I don't want to hear any sniveling.

  • remove the blinders 08/02/2011 5:05:00 PM

    of course every father is an abuser...the devil...the evil one lurking in the shadows..while the mothers are all saints. The parents that truly are victims...be cautious who you associate with. Its a shame when true victims lose credibility by being associated with liars and manipulators. This extremely biased article fails in showing the overall picture. Since this article was first posted there have been parents that have been exposed. The ones who have had there"story" discussed on the American Mothers Moron Party...they are in jail or going to jail for lying and being detrimental to the lives of their children. Will anyone do a story about them...probably not. Instead brush them off to the side and talk about another case so you can keep the self-serving agenda going.

  • Remove the blinders 07/30/2011 5:06:00 PM

    You are funny when you try to conjure up some validity to your horsesh*t.

  • Count Me Out 06/28/2011 12:10:00 AM

    Actually, whether or not PAS was actually believed by the court players, that IS the agenda of the AFCC. Gee, funny how the people so sure that PAS is wrong wont actually (for the most part) consider who is promoting it, how, where, and what's in it for them when they do. A much more useful approach would be to get familiar with the organizations promoting this (if one is opposed, which I am, because the term conveniently is applied more one direction than another), figure out who is funding them (which includes taxpayers) and then do something about that. The PAS is the wallpaper -- it is not the scaffolding. I blog on the scaffolding and the foundation at familycourtmatters wordpress com, FYI. So do several others, who are not on the federal grants stream, the referral business from the courts stream, or the "I have a Dream" book-marketing teams appealing to parents (mostly moms) who have lost their kids through having PAS thrown at them, and many times, the children became "alienated" because of this -- but no $$ benefit attached, so THAT "alienation" is not addressed in the court. Such as Dr Stahl: (from 'parenting after divorce (com)'): "Take Dr. Stahl's online CE courses at the Steve Frankel Group. "Philip Stahl, Ph.D., ABPP (Forensic) is a psychologist licensed in California (#PSY 10272), Michigan (#6301001615), and Arizona (#3843). Dr. Stahl lives in Maricopa County Arizona, though his work takes him all over the country. Dr. Stahl is a practitioner, author, and teacher, specializing in HIGH CONFLICT** families of divorce. He has served on numerous committees and task forces designed to improve the quality of work in his field. He teaches judges, attorneys, psychologists and other mental health professionals about issues affecting families and children. His expertise is accepted in courts across the country." {{**....Bio page makes it clear, this includes parental alienation. "High-conflict" is code for AFCC. It's like their battle cry.... BIO page, bottom, reads like this: "His articles have been on parental alienation, ethics, child custody evaluations, psychological testing, and high conflict." Notice that "parental alienation" comes before ethics, and of course wrapping it up with high conflict, which is always bad, even if it's one parents conflict with criminal behavior, or court order violations, by the other......}} "If you are a professional, you will probably be interested in his training, either at conferences or for ongoing continuing education. Dr. Stahl specializes in training judges, presenting workshops to judges in Arizona, California, Virginia, Utah, Ohio, Texas, Michigan, and other states. {{He is on the faculty of National Judicial College and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges. ("NCJFCJ"). If he's on the faculty of a national council of judges (major player in custody court system) and he teaches PAS, are we still puzzled why it is frequently named in custody hearings?}} Most recently, Dr. Stahl, along with several co-faculty, has developed and begun to teach a course titled Modern Divorce Advocacy through the National Institute for Trial Advocacy. As an approved provider of continuing education for the American Psychological Association and an approved provider of legal specialist education (family law) for the California Bar Association, Dr. Stahl also provides ongoing training and continuing education workshops for psychologists and attorneys. See the links to training for more information on past and future trainings." Good work, if you have the connections. "Both Days of Workshop - Registration faxed or postmarked before 7/17 $340.00 Friday Workshop Only - Registration faxed or postmarked before 7/17 $250.00 Saturday Workshop Only - Registration faxed or postmarked before 7/17 $120.00" .......BIO Dr. Stahl's Bio "Philip Stahl, Ph.D., ABPP (Forensic) is a licensed psychologist who resides in Maricopa County (Arizona). Dr. Stahl began his work in child guidance clinics in Michigan, while studying for his Ph.D. at the University of Michigan. It was there that he began to develop his interest in divorce. His dissertation thesis was a study on attitudes and beliefs on joint custody. He received his doctorate in 1983. Soon thereafter, he began to do child custody evaluations for the Macomb County Courts and took mediation training when mediation was just getting started as a service for divorcing families. "Dr. Stahl moved to California in 1987 and continued his work in the field of divorce. As an active member of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC), he later joined the AFCC Board of Directors and became Chair of AFCC's Custody Evaluation Committee. It was there that he began to develop his teaching style, presenting at many workshops, institutes, and plenary sessions. He was on the Board of Directors and was Treasurer of the AFCC California Chapter and is on the Editorial Review Board of AFCC's journal, Family Courts Review. He has returned to the Board of Directors of AFCC." Some of the PAS-friendly books are also required of divorcing or separating parents through mandated parenting education in several states. I saw in Pennsylvania where a judge (an AFCC one no doubt) got it written into the rules of court that parents had to take a "KidsFirst" (Or whatever the Kids Turn knockoff names was) into the civil rules of court AND onto the actual form downloadable for any custody modification. The form contained a warning that sanctions and fines, possibly jail, would attend if one didn't register for the parenting education class. This is how they can say it's in great "demand".... (Schuykill County, if you're curious). McDonalds understands marketing, and so do AFCC professionals; the difference is some of them are top judges, which is quite a bit of influence to propose legislation favoring certain propaganda in the family law system, whereas most people who like to eat, do not HAVE to eat all the time at McDonalds; they can opt out.

  • 06/24/2011 2:06:00 AM

    This is true my ex husband is an abuser and he took custody of our son. He brought a bunch of lies to court and took my son 8 years ago. I had run away to NY to get away from his abuse and poison. It is sad that judges do not even review the facts. This justice system is severely broken. Then you wonder why today's youth is so broken...

  • Count Me Out 06/23/2011 5:11:00 PM

    The people who make court decisions like this also promote "children first" and claim they are protecting them (from parental alienation and other spectres). SOme of this energy could be directed to figuring out what is the power structure from the California Judicial Council down to the local (Superior Court) judge, commissioner, or other county- or grants-paid professional. I blog them, as do some others. Am still doing so at familycourtmatters(dot)wordpress(dot)com -- see recent "Happy Fatherhood Day — and where would “Fatherhood” be without the HHS?" and posts before that talking about how Parenting Coordinators coach each other to trash the mother, and after that, showing some of the principal nonprofits supposedly stopping violence against women and children who are, instead, promoting marriage and fatherhood (and taking grants to do so). A post on Policy Studies Inc. of Denver (on June 21) prints some concise summaries of who is doing what with various programs, and yes, these do affect custody decisions. I also recommend Bill Berkowitz (of ARC, Oakland) 2001 piece on " “PROSPECTING AMONG THE POOR: WELFARE PRIVATIZATION”" which talks about how come major government work gets outsourced to private groups, including ones that already were convicted of embezzlement, fraud, and other behaviors. Ten years later, we think this has no bearing on the family law business(es)? Formatting isn't great on my blog, but at least one can learn something useful about why so many judges just don't take people seriously and how it's the child support system (OCSE, nationally) that deserves a lot more scrutiny, as that is a primary office organizing the various social demonstration projects (on our relationships, divorces, and kids). Not to mention a recent bill, HB 2193: "H.R. 2193 To amend title IV of the Social Security Act to ensure funding for grants to promote responsible fatherhood and strengthen low-income families,***and for other purposes,***" proposed on 6/15/2011, and mostly (surprise!) Democrat sponsorship. I figured this comments trail was at a standstill, but just for the record -- anyone want to ask these guys what they're doing with that funding?

  • 06/21/2011 6:07:00 AM

    Ah- I guess you don't know that in the "worst" cases, there was/is ample proof. and repeated reports to police and by police etc. Some mothers are definitely not talking about asking a divorce court judge to decide withour "proof". That would be plain silly.

  • NeverGiveUp 06/21/2011 12:41:00 AM

    RKW you are the mop up crew that comes out of the woodwork when protective parents try to expose how the Courts hand over their vulnerable children to abusers.... to be molested and killed. Those of us that work to protect children have no sympathy for your disappointment. As hard as you try, bad mouthing parents bare no moral equivalence to the parents that kill and or molest their children. These issues are not even on the same planet... accept, that ALL the protective parents of dead and molested children in this article who tried desperately to protect their children were accused of bad mouthing, lying to the Court about the other parent, and accused of PAS. And in each of these cases evidence was ignored because PAS was believed and the protector was looked at with suspicion and punished... Countless numbers of children have died this way. In every case this idiot PAS campaign that you fight so hard to promote is responsible for the pain, misery and loss of life of at least 141 children since baby Wyatt was killed on February 20, 2010.

  • 06/06/2011 4:23:00 AM

    Children First, it is a good thing that you have posted this (yet another) horrendous case. It should be obvious to any thinking person , that something is dreadfully wrong and amoral when a society and its organizations "allow" this kind of destruction.

  • Childrenfirst 06/06/2011 2:37:00 AM

    45 Counts in graphic detail were recently filed (amended) against Mark Mesiti in Stanislaus County for the molestation and murder of his daughter Alycia Mesiti-Allen. Judge Vincent Chiarello, aided by his staff ignored many laws (there was a domestic violence suit in process) and sent Alycia to live with him. 9 months later he had her declared a runaway and 21/2 years after that (March 2009), she was found buried in his former backyard. My complaint to the CA Commission on Judicial Performance resulted in a reply, "the Judge did nothing wrong." When is our Legislature going to take the Family Court danger to our defenseless children seriously? Children are not garbage objects to be handed off to dangerous, evil persons. What was done to Alycia were multiple attrocities un til she was finally murdered. It seems that to the powers that be (in Family Court) she was insignificant and disposable! When are the adults who run our civil society going to actually protect our children and not protect the prestige and power of those who can hold themselves immune from being accountable and from taking responsibility for their actions?

  • Custody-switched Mom 05/27/2011 5:37:00 PM

    With news coverage like yours (and the last PAS article (in May) linking directly to a FaF site), what is really lacking in positive "coverage" of men's groups? 2009 Broadsheet / "Salon" article talking about men's groups going mainstream (it's about 10 yrs behind reality, but 2 yrs old even so), relates: "Men's rights" groups go mainstream Once seen as a lunatic fringe, reactionary anti-women groups are courting respectability" Nov 5, 2009 Judy Berman" She writes, in 2009 "What's really frightening is the impact men's rights activists (MRAs) are having on mainstream politics. " [No mention of the 1994 National Fatherhood Initiative, 1995 Clinton Executive Memo on Fatherhood, no mention of the HHS "fatherhood.hhs.gov" site; none of that....What might we call those? Non-mainstream political involvement of men's rights groups?]] "One of the respectable new faces of the movement is Glenn Sacks, a fathers' rights columnist and radio host with 50,000 e-mail followers, and a pragmatist in a world of angry dreamers. Sacks is a former feminist and abortion-clinic defender who disavows what he calls “the not-insubstantial lunatic fringe of the fathers’ rights movement.” He recently merged his successful media group with the shared-parenting organization Fathers and Families in a bid to build a mainstream fathers' rights organ on par with the National Organization for Women. Many of Sacks’ arguments—for a court assumption of shared parenting in the case of divorce, or against child-support rigidity in the midst of recession—can sound reasonable. {"against child support rigidity?"....} ---------------------------------------- "But do any of their arguments hold up? Many of the men for whom Sacks advocates are involved in extreme cases, says Joanie Dawson, a writer and domestic-violence advocate who has covered the fathers’ rights movement. * * *The great majority of custody cases, in which shared parenting is a legitimate option, are settled or resolved privately. * * * * ---------------------------------------- But of the 15 percent that go to family court—the cases that fathers’ rights groups target—at least half include alleged domestic abuse."

  • Custody-switched Mom 05/27/2011 4:06:00 AM

    If I were you, I'd be real thankful that more people (including fathers) were not investigating Fathers and Families' involvements in the family law case, particularly in the child support department. While it's sure hard to keep the fathers' groups separate by name, I'm sure anyone with a little persistence, who got tired of being incited by you, could do so, either by EIN# or a little legwork. Mr. Jamison has probably found more than he's reporting (I just looked at a recent sunshine log request to the SF Controller from last November, although it didn't appear to have been fulfilled yet). ANYONE can do this -- but reporters are more adept at it, I guess: Having narrowed what it is you are curious about, a typical letter could start like this: = = = = = = = = = "Pursuant to Chapter 67 of the San Francisco Administrative Code, the Sunshine Ordinance, I hereby request to inspect and possibly make copies of all records of (Fill in the blank _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _) "Should you choose to deny this request in part or in full, please cite the specific exemptions in the ordinance on which you are relying. I can be reached (etc.) ......" "These records include, but are not limited to...." and make sure to include a timeframe. (When I searched, it came up as "Scribd" document, and (FYI) the "search" field pops up at the bottom. I imagine) This site may be interesting for those who can navigate it: http://prosfclearinghouse.wordpress.com/ Apparently you can get records of who requested what, i.e, logs of "public records request" showing date requested, who requested what, who fulfilled the request (if they did) and when). For example, on 1/5/2011, our author requested "1. Amounts and categories of "premium pay" paid to employees of the City and County of SF by each municipal department for FY 2009-2010 & 2008-2009. #2. Any budget, analysis or report prepared at the behest of the Board of Supervisors Budget and Legislative Analyst for an audit that the office is performing of certain types of premium pay..." etc. I found this by googling something like "Sunshine request SF Controller Jamison..." While this request may not relate to the family law issue, the fact is, "premium pay" (from grants streams) has proved an issue in some high-profile cases (I DNR if it was Shockome or another) -- of course the mother was not informed when the opposing attorney tapped into this category of "premium pay" based on how the case was flagged . . . . . (high-conflict, or something, I'll try & look it up). But the fact is, you don't have to be a reporter to make a public records request. And when it comes to custody, I'd definitely be looking into the child support enforcement pay records and seeing who pays whom to do what.... Or almost any category. And of course Fathers and Families related payments of any sort. Or payments to any nonprofit operated by judges, attorneys, or other private groups while one of the individuals was functioning as a public official and making decisions as to which child lives where and how much their Moms and Dads got to see them..... If I were Glenn Sacks, I'd not tempt me to investigate further....

  • Fathers and Families 05/26/2011 7:42:00 PM

    What a disappointment this story is. After four months of research, you came up with 2 miserable cases and try to pass this issue as critical. Sorry but in a state with over 30 million people and the family breakup champion of the world there are more critical issues by far. At the top of the list is the anti-father / father-hatred movement. Thousands of fathers are disparaged, saddled with crazy accusations, exploitative debts that push them into bankruptcy and/or despair. The father-hate movement also is trying to pass laws making it a crime to as much as mention when a mother brainwashes her own kids to hate their father. Thousands of lawyers milk this scenario daily and enrich themselves on the backs of breaking families. Another example: 18th century style debtors prison still exist for fathers who cannot keep up with fantasy 'imputed incomes' and are kept in prison... until they pay? What kind of demented culture is this? Now why don't you guy cover this? it is just as sensational and affects *thousands* and not just a few.

  • Bpb 05/15/2011 4:13:00 PM

    Hard to believe but happens every day. Children need to be protected http://childrenmatter-bb.blogspot.com/

  • quest 05/13/2011 3:11:00 PM

    Wow.....I thought we were talking about people--but it's Monkeys. No wonder the dysfunction runs rampid thru your mind--and confusion.

  • quest 04/27/2011 2:48:00 PM

    Whoooooooooooooo. Once again. You tell us Lady of Ward #304 - you know all the answers. Prozac might be beneficial to you tho.

  • nf 04/27/2011 2:44:00 PM

    Whoooo..........A true Psycho - Lady. You are not worth the effort.

  • Custody-switched mom 04/26/2011 4:49:00 PM

    So, 7 years later, how's that small community in Alaska doing, and have they yet figured out why abusers get unsupervised visitation and custody? Or havent they yet read sites and information that was published 5, 6, or 9 years before 2004? How come you think this (missing major elements of the custody scene) article is one of the best on the topic? Not reading much? ONly reading in specific systems of study? (if you are Renee Beeker -- I also attempted to show you, by one on one email, other angles of approach)...If not, this comment will make little sense to you, perhaps -- but still has some info about who is running the court system, and might be worth a followup. Searching Cindy Ross's Feb. 19, 2003 (!!) "Federally Funded Misogyny" post, got 182,000 results in 0.5 seconds... Look at all those sites which read this. Here's quote: "the systematic mishandling of domestic violence and child molest cases as “custody disputes” is based in a financial corruption scheme that calls for diverting grant program funding through “high conflict” cases, in the guise of promoting “fatherhood” and “shared parenting” post-divorce. [3] Rather than assisting men become responsible parents, “Responsible Fatherhood”, “Access to Visitation Enforcement” (supervised visitation for noncustodial parents), “Child Support Enforcement” and similar federal programs perpetuate abuse of women and children through the legal system. [4] Abusive men striving to maintain control over their victims are provided an array of benefits, not only to get custody and get out of paying child support, but to terrorize the mothers of their children and society in general. [5] Government programs are not producing responsible fathers, but motherless children, in order to advance the agenda of the so-called “fathers’ rights” movement. “Fathers’ rights” as a political agenda, has nothing to do with actual parenting rights or responsibilities." and... "While CRC claims to promote “shared parenting” and AFCC represents itself as “an association of family, court and community professionals” dedicated to the “constructive resolution of family disputes”, these groups conceal their role in a perverse fathers’ rights pedophile “ring” operating through family court. Richard Gardner is only one of numerous “experts” connected to CRC/AFCC, who not only promote pedophilia, but seek to destroy children’s relationships with their mothers in the name of fatherhood. [13] Steering cases to AFCC court allies, CRC (and other fathers’ group) members get their cases “fixed” using PAS methodology. CRC devised custody switching programs are used to procure federal Access to Visitation Enforcement Program grants for supervised visitation and “Child Access Transfer Centers”. [14] Through these centers, evidence of sexual (and physical) abuse is suppressed and mothers are prevented from having normal contact with their children. Mothers are forced to stop complaining about “sharing” the children, or to give up their children altogether, losing all parental rights." This article has a lot more relevant information about CAUSES and PROCESSES than this Jamison article does about results -- in only 4 cases. This one article has so much coherent, and in chronological place, information on the courts -- but publishing it isn't paying anyone's salaries, or recommending another panel of "experts" to discuss the problems in the court -- nor is it selling a book that is supposedly up to date research on best custody practices with an awareness of domestic violence (and no awareness of what Cindy wrote on in 2003, as have any others). CONNECT THE DOTS - some day, OK? (please forward to small community in Alaska -- it's affecting them too. This is nationwide): "The National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI) was founded in 1994, to “lead a society-wide movement to confront the problem of father absence”, i.e., to embed the fathers’ rights agenda into government policies and programs. [21] In 1995, former President Clinton issued executive orders that directed federal agencies to review and “modify” all family programs and initiatives serving primarily mothers and children, to include fathers and “strengthen their involvement” with children. [22] President George W. Bush, has appointed NFI founding officials to high level positions in the present Administration; Wade Horn is Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services and Don Eberly is in the White House Office of Faith Based Initiatives. Under the control of these and other fathers’ rights allies — especially former OCSE Commissioner David Gray Ross (a frequent presenter for CRC) — the federal Department of Health and Human Services Office of Child Support Enforcement has been turned into a men’s custody agency. While publicly touted as “responsible fatherhood programs” official federal documents say the purpose of their programs is to provide noncustodial fathers with free attorneys to litigate for custody. [4] AFCC affiliated experts who have established federal “model custody” programs using PAS methodology, include Joan Kelly, a founding official of CRC, and Judith Wallerstein of the Center for the Family in Transition. Richard Gardner originally based his PAS theory on Wallerstein’s and Kelly’s research. [23] Joan Kelly sets up family court services programs and trains judges and “special masters” (mediators with quasi-judicial authority), using Access to Visitation grant funding. She is also connected — primarily through CRC — to Michael Lamb, of the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. Kelly and Lamb promote materials developed by Richard Gardner (and other pedophiliac experts), in conferences and seminars regarding “parenting time” and “alienation”. [8]" At least try pronouncing a few words -- well, acronyms after me (and others): Pop quiz, later... HHS - OCSE AFCC CRC NFI -- and connection to Wade Horn, George Bush, David Gray Ross (I even commented on the last one, above). CFCC (found in SF & Baltimore -- DNK if elsewhere, but you wait -- they'll come...) What is TAGGS"? Who is Joan Kelly, who is Judith Wallerstein -- and what are they doing these days? What the h*ll is 'Access Visitation" funding...Who is Marv Bryer - -or for that matter, Richard Fine? What's conciliation code? What, in effect, DO You know about in this field? If you are involved with NOW Family Law Task Forces, there is zero excuse for not knowing some of these things. And i you are watching courts, this may be helpful information to see if there is any evidence of -- and the watching should include a healthy does of internet investigations as well, plus vendor payment records relating to the courts. Heck, we found LIENS page had connection to the courts and nonprofits around them. So, if this is "best article you've seen" then take off the blinders, as one of the most persistent commentators has been recommending (not that that person has done so, either....). When I was a girl (middle school) I had to know all the countries of the world, and all their capitals, as well as all US states and THEIR capitols (and identify all of these on a map). Kids can learn these things -- what happens to adults when it comes to even just a few basics of an area of learning? It is necessary to have a bit of a vocabulary -- and "PAS, Gardner, Psychological Theory, family court "mistakes," and the characteristics of "a batterer" just isn't a large enough one....

  • Custody-switched mom 04/26/2011 4:24:00 PM

    (Skimming comments, again, amazed at the stupidity of some responses) Nila -- I tried -- I asked you to back up what you said: "Nilapink: Belief is free. Proof requires work. Show me yours -- thanks:" Having been personally asked to "show" -- not just vaguely refer to -- your proof of: "It is a known fact 70% of woman are the ones that kill their children." -- You simply could not.... ... "the paper" and "child abuse books" (which ones? What state/country -- what decade? Who ran the studies? how large a sample? over one year -- or over several years? etc.) -- . Please unzip the source of your "70% of women" catechism. Or, are you unwilling to do so, because ain't nothing there? "all you have to do, lady" -- whether I was a lady or a man, if you have the truth, I can read it. " is to read the paper and child abuse books" - Thank you for making it clear to the rest of us that if you have, you forgot the titles, the authors, the date of publications, and anything they said other than the alleged "70%" figure which clearly caught your imagination, stuck there, and has obliterated the other identifying detail. Caught with your pants down (metaphor, only....) -- and empty-handed, the obvious thing to do is launch a personal attack on me, to distract others: "You have obviously been abused by a man and just assume all men are bad." The abuse by a man was obvious when a judge issues a restraining order with kickout, after reading the declarations. It's not obvious because I challenged a ridiculous statement of yours that you didn't back up in a way that anyone else could check on. There is no evidence I assume that all men are bad because ONE man was abusive in my marriage. I have a work life that has included men, before, during and after marriage. I didn't assume they were all bad. I have had friends since marriage -- they are not "bad." This statement is as baseless and ridiculous as the 70% of women kill statement. It's also irrelevant -- and a distraction from the topics I keep bringing up -- a lot of the trouble in the family law courts comes from bribes (including federally-based ones). So what even IF it were 70% of women who killed? I should not lose my Constitutional rights, due process, or having evidence in an individual case because someone else has deduced that 70% of women kill. I myself have not physically attacked anyone. The comment that because I was abused by "a" man (translation: a man physically attacked and committed domestic violence/assault & and battery (and more) against me, being misdemeanor and felony behavior) means that I assume all men are bad -- is more likely ~you ~speaking from ~your~ heart, only changing the gender, and names on the way out of the mouth. Some woman possibly (notice I said, Possibly) did you wrong -- and you (not I) assume all WOMEN are bad -- which bringing up a statement you can't back up, but like anyhow -- says. Logic, honesty, proof, and the ability to understand you might be wrong -- are gone, if they were there to start with. I would never waste this time on dialogue in private, but this is a public forum. The emperor has no clothes on the claim that women are more dangerous to their kids, or kill them more often than men kill men, women, and children in general. One of the benefits of the domestic violence laws is that they have enabled women who otherwise might have had to kill to stay alive (and then spend the rest of those live sin prison) to actually leave, with NO one getting murdered. For all the protests against VAWA, I think there is a category of men living now, who might not have been, had not some laws been passed to save women's lives from abusive situations that were escalating. Source: "Strengthen our sisters (dot) org" -- which is a shelter organization in NJ. They (unlike you) cited several studies. Here's part of the page -- to end of comment: "A California state prison study found that 93% of the women who had killed their mates had been battered by them; 67% of these women indicated the homicide resulted from an attempt to protect themselves or their children. In reality, only a very small percent of battered women kill their abusers to end the violence. Most suffer in silence or are able to leave the relationship. Several studies have attempted to learn why a small percent of battered women resort to homicide. These studies have found that many women who kill in self-defense: * * * Suffer frequent and severe abuse; * * * Are victims of often brutal sexual assault; * * * Are frequently threatened with death, especially if they attempt to leave; * * * Are caught and beaten if they leave the abuser; * * * Suffer severe psychological abuse, such as being beaten in front of others or being forced to watch the batterer kill a pet; and * * * Are socially isolated and often imprisoned in their homes. _ _ _Studies have found that many women have killed their abusers to protect their children from physical or sexual abuse. "A research study by Browne and Williams has been able to correlate an increase in legal protections services for battered women with a decrease in the number of homicides committed by women against male partners. From 1979 to 1984, this type of homicide decreased by more than 25%." They also referred to a police foundation study in Detroit and Kansas City, and a Cook County (Chicago) study: "A Cook County (Illinois) Dept. of Corrections study of a Chicago women's prison found that 40% if inmates incarcerated for murder or manslaughter had killed partners who repeatedly assaulted them. These women had sought police protection at least five times before resorting to homicide." Enough is enough. It is better to separate than keep fighting, and then go to jail if one of the fighters wins when the other one had been heading towards murder. It's about LIFE, liberty and pursuit of happiness.... Why then continue the punishment by association for the following 5 to 18 years until all children are grown, in the court system? No wonder our country has problems!

  • Custody-switched mom 04/26/2011 3:08:00 PM

    (reviewing this site). It sounds to me like you really don't know what domestic violence is. It's not just a family squabble one can walk away from, and whatsamatta you if you do? You've chosen the most comfortable position, apparently -- having also dismissed "facts" as irrelevant, and hard experience (whatever that is) as more important .... and are somehow a professional. In any profession, facts at least about the subject matter of that profession count, and understanding them right as well as a little ongoing humility in case one has misread the facts or the situations.

  • Custody-switched mom 04/26/2011 3:00:00 PM

    Part of making sense includes having some in the reader to start with. "all over the place" is in the mind of the beholder. I connect dots -- the family law system DOES entail behavioral modification programs (cf. "Batterers Intervention" "Therapeutic Supervised Visitation" and so forth) -- and behavioral modification techniques (including isolation) yes, were tried on monkeys also, with devastating results, producing dysfunctional adult monkeys who couldn't parent, and many of the didn't want to mate, either. The experiments were cruel: "Try to emotionally destroy mothers raising kids, and you get traumatized dysfunctional kids." connects to: "This was proved years (decades) ago on monkeys! resulting in some animal protection laws." Your comment: The assumption that people physically/other ways abused (in marriage, is context, or adult romantic relationships) started in early in their lives is true sometimes -- not all the time. .... However, sounds like you blame them -- and not whoever abused them -- going back to their childhood, either way. 'allow the abuse to go on" -- kids have few ways to escape, and it's not only hard, but also dangerous (potentially lethal -- headlines are clear on that one....) to leave an abuser (especially if you have children together and the court is insisting on shared parenting, no matter what....). Quest, you made no mention in either case of whoever was committing the abuse. Was this unconscious communion with them, or intentional? A kids is not responsible for what was done to him or her. When an adult physically assaults, injures, attacks, or threatens another person -- destroys property, etc. -- the person responsible is the adult -- not the person attacked, injured, or whose property was destroyed. Our legal code calls people responsible for their own actions. Family law rather reverses that, and blames both parents (and indoctrinates, attempts to coach them to "get alone" etc.) so as to promote their counseling, evaluation, visitation, and (. . . . . . etc.) courses and businesses. They must've been doing a great job -- because large sectors of the public still don't think abuse is wrong -- but like to criticize people (particularly mothers/women) who can't get out of it, for not getting out -- just not criticize the perpetrators.

  • quest 04/22/2011 3:44:00 PM

    Oops, you don't make any sense at all Lady - you're all over the board and then some. But, ususally people that have been abused verbally or physically (I quess you were talking about women)? started early on in their lives so they continue into adulthood to allow the abuse to go on. Or, were you talking about the "monkeys"? q

  • Custody-switched mom 04/20/2011 6:38:00 PM

    Breaking news -- not all women have the physical strength to defend themselves -- in home -- against a man. Moreover, they may not, especially with small children, have the resources to get free.. "abuse" has loose-lips definition and but assault & battery, legal definitions. "Domestic violence" (a term abusers don't like to use; PAS is the preferable antidote) is actually a crime against society and NOT the victim's fault. It is not essential to life to assault one's partner repeatedly, or dominate/intimidate/threaten/batter, etc. her as a lifestyle. Any criminal defense lawyer knows this. Here's one from Los Angeles area: "PENAL CODE 273.5, PENAL CODE 243(E)(1) In any relationship, arguments and disputes occur. However, anytime there is an allegation of physical injury reported to the police, it is very important to get a an experienced domestic violence defense attorney. We can help you today. What are some of the ramifications of a domestic violence conviction? The ramifications may include the possibility of state prison up to four years in prison if filed as a felony. If the case is filed as a misdemeanor, the defendant faces up to one year in the county jail." (NOTE: many domestic violence advocates don't even tell women half of what a criminal defense attorney would) Does this sound like they believe it's the attacked person's fault? ?? This comment makes sense only IF domestic violence ("abuse" being the softer term) is legal in all 50 states, and no consequences for perpetrating it. "I am sorry, but this is your problem that you were abused or what ever. Don't you have a brain or the strength to say no. I don't feel sorry for people like you. " All functional brains need to be collectively applied to answer why family law undermines criminal law, and why criminal law is not being enforced sufficiently to protect victims of domestic violence, young or old, despite all that 's been poured into the system. Where is that money going?? And why society still cannot accept women as full-status human beings it is wrong to assault, ditto children....we are still needed to produce children, why not try treating us a little better overall? Harm the Mom, you are harming the baby. Try to emotionally destroy mothers raising kids, and you get traumatized dysfunctional kids. This was proved years (decades) ago on monkeys! resulting in some animal protection laws. Hopefully the treatment of women & children will eventually catch up to penalties for abusing animals. (some guy going through a tough time with his wife and depression, created something called "the pit of despair" on monkeys under his control finding out -- "suprise" -- that they matured into adult uninterested in sex or parenting, for which he constructed something called a "rape rack." This was an adult male,, probably Ph.D.'s human being that came up with the brilliant thesis that depression & isolation affects monkeys. Well, it affects human beings subjected to similar conditions too. So if we value human life, why not stop the forms of treatment that humiliate, isolate, intimidate, deprive -- and assault -- each other? Look it up: -- it was MATERNAL deprivation that created sick, dysfunctional, disturbed monkeys.... Harry Harlow, Univ. of Wisconsin-Madison, did this. It's infamous: "Harry Frederick Harlow (October 31, 1905–December 6, 1981) was an American psychologist best known for his maternal-deprivation and social isolation experiments on rhesus monkeys, which demonstrated the importance of care-giving and companionship in the early stages of primate development. He conducted most of his research at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, where he worked for a time with humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow.” "The guy was an evil son of a bitch. He did horrendous, sickening, things to monkeys in the name of science, and was somehow a respected member of the scientific community. “Some of Harlow’s experiments involved rearing infant macaques in isolation chambers that prevented them from having any contact with other monkeys or human beings. The monkeys were left alone for up to 24 months, and emerged severely disturbed.” Note: He was a psychologist conducting cruel experiments on baby monkeys. Now, we have psychologists helping run the courts, assigning parents to baby kids... We have a major US Dept of Exec Branch full of programs started by psychologist Wade Horn. We have psychological theories (Gardner, etc>) and we come up with adults blaming women for their own abuse and blaming kids for not liking to witness or participate in it. The courts are a virtual torture chamber for humans, and degrees and professional advancement for the paraprofessionals in them. Now you tell me how much sense that makes.

  • quest 04/19/2011 9:45:00 PM

    Oh, I forgot to ask you the last time - how long do you think post-partum depression lasts, into adulthood...........Do you think that might be another excuse that mothers are using against the fathers? Kinda, like Menopausal. I know alot of great men that are terrific care-givers too and the never hunted a day in their lives. They don't believe in it............. q

  • 04/18/2011 12:02:00 PM

    I saw this related case on Family Courts in America today, Mr. Jamison, if there is anything you could do to share this story, maybe it could save this child. I do not know any of the parties - I just was aghast. http://www.saveaaliyah.com/ - Connie Bedwell is being threatened with imprisonment for protecting her daughter from "Daddy's Worm"

  • Ingrid Blank 04/17/2011 4:25:00 PM

    Could you please elaborate on the involvement of Bank of America: "The link talks about the inbreeding between the banking and justice industries. It names Bank of America who (incidentally? or not) were related to the history of AFCC and who currently distribute or are heavily involved in the multi-million$$ child support payment industry. I wonder what kind of fees they get, and interest on payments before they are disbursed? "

  • quest 04/14/2011 10:14:00 PM

    Oh gosh, you really do have deep seeded issues - and please don't talk to me about being bias. In my business there is no room for biases like yours and the other woman. I only want what is best for the child and the parents. And that is shared parenting - with two good parents no matter what their marital status. This is in the childs best interest for a chance at a normal life and happy life. But sadly, this does not happen all the time.

  • Francis 04/13/2011 7:49:00 AM

    Thanks for your reply, but it wasn't the legal system that got this wrong, - unfortunately it was my own trust, - my faith in mankind is still shattered. I have a very hard time believing that a woman could act in this way. I really do feel that men are far less trustworthy, in the larger scheme of things. Women just do seem to be more conscientious with regard to ethics. Of course the majority of men are O.K. but personally, I would much prefer to ask a woman to look after children than a man, and not merely as a result of my experience. I felt that way before.

  • Francis 04/13/2011 7:36:00 AM

    If, as a woman, you think women are more likely to commit infanticide, than men, then I sincerely wonder what you are like as a woman? You can see the possibility of this happening, with yourself, Am I right? There is a situation where women kill their children. It is usually when they suffer from extreme post-post-partum psychotic depression. This is why I suggest that parenting is a full time, two person job. Apart from the situation as described above, it is clear that men are more likely to be aggressors & kill, than women. This is clearly as a result of testosterone. Men are traditionally hunters & fighters, women are primarily care-givers and food-gatherers. The actions of hormones can not be underestimated or ignored or pushed to one side because it is an inconvenient truth that does not coincide with our decisions.

  • Francis 04/13/2011 7:11:00 AM

    quest. When I say both parents need to be there, I mean both parents need to be with the child at all or at least most times.

  • Francis 04/13/2011 7:08:00 AM

    quest. The bias that you show sincerely concerns me if you really work with children & families.

  • Count me out 04/10/2011 9:07:00 AM

    There you have it, Anita -- how a "professional" proves something. (similar to the "take it on faith" one finds in a church....)

  • quest 04/09/2011 7:57:00 PM

    Yep, and someone like you who has so much hate...........in them - the med's would make them more consistant in what they say. The vascillating back and forth would stop. And it certainly, would help your OCD ranting and raving....! You would also, be more level headed - Geez, then you could read the papers............and learn something. quest

  • quest 04/09/2011 7:43:00 PM

    You are not worth the effort .............................

  • 04/09/2011 5:43:00 AM

    A gigantic thank you to Peter Jamison for shining a light on this broken system. Children are not chattel or property to be divided. Their safety is paramount and the system needs to protect them or be dismantled altogether.

  • 04/08/2011 11:22:00 PM

    You did not write :" It is written."????? Dang. I really wanted to ask if the stone tablets were heavy. Oh well.

  • quest 04/08/2011 8:33:00 PM

    Whoops, meant to write this earlier, several of you other OCD fact activists and OCD women activists were the ones that started the comments on "more mothers kill children" (true) NOT I....But you seem to carry the issue along with everything else you write - Oh my Gosh, and nobody cares about the statistics just truth. Join the real world and quit your ranting and raving about subjects you know nothing about - you should hear yourself you don't even sound coherent. Please do yourself a favor and get on prozac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! q

  • quest 04/08/2011 5:04:00 PM

    Hah, are we jealous......Actually, I work for a living unlike some people I know of. Oh dear.........we're beginning to sound like the typical caddy and dumb women I hate to associate with. Q

  • quest 04/08/2011 4:58:00 PM

    Yes Miss OCD (Liz Library follower), it is really sad that mothers would do such a thing. Some people just still have that antiquated mind set about the poor innocent mother. Yep, another one in the paper today. Papers really give you alot of information, obviously, you don't read them. I do feel sorry for your children - you sound like you have extreme and deep issues. q

  • quest 04/08/2011 4:42:00 PM

    Hah, Hah, I found this all so amazing that several of you are so hung up on facts. Facts are not always accurate. It also depends on where they come from and who. I will just say for now, it is my profession. And besides most people do not want to spend the time on facts - they would rather visually and verbally experience the situation in hand. Comsumer Reports gives you data and facts, they are not always accurate. q

  • quest 04/08/2011 4:31:00 PM

    I am sorry, but this is your problem that you were abused or what ever. Don't you have a brain or the strength to say no. I don't feel sorry for people like you. You have the right to fix the problem - not the blame. Besides, whats your point anyway - that's not what I said.

  • 04/07/2011 9:45:00 PM

    The majority of violent cimes and crimes of abuse, are committed by the male of homo sapiens.Gender matters.

  • 04/07/2011 9:36:00 PM

    Count me out- that person is just repeating the mantra (one of them!) of some masculinist groups. You were close when you wrote : catechism !!

  • 04/07/2011 9:28:00 PM

    What it says about that profession- in my opinion, is that ,these systems also buy into the prevailing and ubiquitous patriarchal mindset- essentially- control- (domination) own-' Often, ideas are taught and accepted and acted on - without any other learning.Even, it seems, the continous stream of murdered women and children,does not impact certain beliefs.

  • 04/07/2011 9:18:00 PM

    "It is written" ???? By some who repeat the patriarchal mind set that women and children must do anything and everything a man tells them to do.(that incudes all knd of abuses to be accepted,and includs being murdered if one does not -obey)The "mothers/women are bad "twaddle is flung around , along with other nonsense . Those who buy into these myths, are buying into the domination ideas that ,sadly, permeate our societies. The fact that there are more and more people demonstrating a certain evolution, is hopeful !

  • Count me out 04/07/2011 8:53:00 PM

    Oh, I get it -- you are in the business of being married, which make you the expert on others.....Well, what does that say for your self-opinion (and how your husband has handled you) -- gullible, obviously.

  • Count me out 04/07/2011 8:51:00 PM

    Yes, if you medicate someone enough, they will for sure, sooner or later, forget about facts so you can go about your business...without pesky inquiries about what you are doing..

  • Count me out 04/07/2011 8:50:00 PM

    A professional Family and Children person believes that mothers murder more based on s/he lives in an urban area and reads (selectively) newspapers. What does that say for your profession?

  • Count me out 04/07/2011 8:49:00 PM

    Case in point, President Obama.....

  • Anita 04/07/2011 7:22:00 PM

    Id like to ask where are you getting your information from ??? Or did you just make that determination based on your own knowing. You really should get that FACTS first then put the information out ....if you were to get the FACTS it is screamingly clear that men by far perpetrate the greater % of all crimes against children !!! You need to get the FACTS from the credible scientifically based studies in which reports come from various resources such as emergency room care for DV injuries, CPS reports and EVIDENCE etc. That is not to say that no women commit crimes against children .....rather it is to offer some reality to the comments.

  • quest 04/07/2011 3:19:00 PM

    Geez...............you love to hear yourself talk. Do you record these posts for entertainment. You truly are OCD about facts. You need to make an appt. with my office and I'll tell you what the true facts are. And put you on MED's!! My husband will be the "Judge." Hopefully, he will charge you with outrageous ranting and lies..........And put you in the corner with a Donce Hat Sorry your the one that's so angry. q

  • quest 04/07/2011 3:02:00 PM

    That's the only thing you have said, that makes sense - child rearing does take two good parents to bring up a child. Children thrive with two good parents. But apparantly you had a bad experience. Now strive to make yourself better. q

  • Count me out 04/07/2011 3:21:00 AM

    The question then becomes, who gets to define "fit"? and again, the answer is, an arbitrary standard, given wide discretion by family court judges (which they have) and the "fitness examiners." As most of the examiners come from the mental health industry, then "fit" becomes defined by standardizing what people can, and you have an abusive system funded by public dollars. (which is what we have now, anyhow....). The "mental health" practitioners running through the courts got involved in this back in about 1962, and the purpose of the family courts now is -- in their own words -- "conciliation" and "Counseling" (AFCC documents....) and Therapy. Guess what -- not every couple that breaks up, having had children - really needs therapy, or to have his/her head examined. No, they don't. However, no therapy, no moulah, so someone has to stir the custody pot and keep the therapists in work. Right now, if violence, injury, etc. has occurred, that is a basis to get someone out of kids' lives and the parent's for their safety. So, violent = unfit. Because, believe it of not there was an Acts of Congress passed, and it says it is in the best interests of this nation to note, and stop, Violence Against Women. So, by that philosophy, beating up on a woman in front of kids = not fit. However, in the family law venue 9which is where it's going to go, sooner or later) this is suddenly reversed: "Alleging violence against woman OR children = NOT FIT." Because, naturally, the concern would be that while no one else is present, and with someone who was just prevented from unloading on a woman, oir wokring out their anger, or whatever it was -- will then have available, the children (extension of the mother) to hurt and control instead. So no, I do not agree with 50/50 when there has been violence earlier or molestation at any time. I most certainly do no have solutions (do I look like a policymaker?) but I DO know that it's unfair to socieyt, mothers, kdis, and yes Dads, to have a few months, or a year, or even two years of communicating to the family -- we understand that violence is wrong and respect your need for distance and safety. And then, Voila -- the moment one steps into family law -- it's the "you Bad Mom, talking about domestic violence, or even thinking about it, or being alert to future developments in your kids -- you are not the friednly parent. You are not sharing. You are alienating. "Everyone" knows that most domestic violence allegations are false." It's hypocritical and unfair to all people involved except the DV industry and the Family Law industry. (sorry about the length, here...)

  • Count me out 04/07/2011 3:05:00 AM

    No need to add insult to someone who questioned your comment, or where you got this "mothers kill more kids" from. I am a mother. I am tired of hearing this sick "factoid," out of context, and with no reference to on what authority. "It is written" -- huh? Are you talking U.S.? California? "The writers keep us going..............But you are wrong and very ignorant has to what happens everyday in this world today. I live in a City of 6 million people, if you read the paper and then some- there is always something henious some mother or mothers have done to her children. Yesterday, some mother locked her children in the attic. Again, it is proven more mothers kill children than men. It is written." it is most certainly not proven anywhere here on these comments -- and how many people keep repeating this as if it were part of a catechism? It's like a security blanket they cling on to. Hey, let's consider. In one year, suppose you are right. More mothers (nationwide) do kill there children. So, how does that relate to this article, are what are you suggesting be done -- give all young children to fathers every time there is a separation? Surely nature tells you fathers are more equipped to care for an nurse (?) young children. They are real great a multi-tasking, and, well, they are maybe more able (in this culture) to go out and get some other woman or caretaker -- or their own mothers -- to take care of the baby while they work? Or involve the child support system, and EVERY time there is a custody dispute -- just give it to the Dad (end of story)? Then we could eliminate about six different types of federally funded programs and fire all the custody evaluators and people running the courts. SO and so say, more moms kill their babies, so profile people by their gender, and take babies away from all moms. Simple, right? OK, suppose, over a five- year period, this actually happens . And then someone does another study. More Dads are killing their children now -- possibly stressed by taking care of them and/or trying to pay for nannies, child-care, or whatever. Perhaps more Dads killing their children (this is hypothetical, after the total social restructuring to eliminate mother hood because allegedly "more mothers kill their children." So, then oops -- we have to base our court procedures on statistics (from which source? and not on the Constitution, fact-finding, due process or anything remotely resembling civil rights or individual rights. So, the pendulum swings back -- more Dads killing kids. well, to be consistent, and honest, then they should again totally restructure everything back towards mothers, and experiments some more, run some programs, do some studies, and of course throughout the whole time make sure those fatalitiy review teams keep on going. . . . . . And so on. The argument is ridiculous, anyhow. What's the application of 1.More (fill in either: Moms / Dads) kill children. Because (fillin the blank) said so. Application: 2. Eradicate Family Court laws completely (because this set of laws, to my udnerstanding, says every time there is a custody dispute, the Court AUTOMATICALLY has Jurisdiction) 3. Suppose there is an exception -- there is a really bad (fill in the blank) and a really good (fill in the blank -- opposite gender parent)? How can this person then switch custody under the statistics-based legal process ??? Good griefi! + + + + + + + + But wait a minute! What about same-sex couples with children Oh my God, how are going to straighten THAT one out? No lesbians allowed to adopt, or have children where one is bioMom, but it's fine for homosexual male couples (after, obviously an ex partner or surrogate mothers somewhere, I mean, biology is biology....). OK, so a homosexual couple, married in a state that allows marriage, splits up and have a custody dispute. So what does a court based on "more mothers kill" do then? + + + + + + + + + That whole scene is ridiculous. I am not a statistic. My ex is not a statistic. And while statistics are helpful, they also represent selective questions, and usually some kind of viewpoint. When they are paid for by any party with a stake in the outcome, (i.e, a policy it wants to promote), then they are lobbyist statistics used to justify whatever the lobby is. + + + + + + + + + This is not much different than racism, and comes from the same source. Try that formula again, and instead of filling in gender, fill in race. You would see how ridiculous it sounds, and you would probably recognize this is right back to the institution of slavery based on innate superiority/inferiority of certain races. Back to Square 1. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Sorry to jump on one particular person who blurted it out (again) but look through the comments -- and the PAS article comments also (probably up to 600+ by now) -- and you'll see again, as I recall (got to qualify it there) -- lots of people saying "more mothers kill children." Another person said "more SINGLE mothers kill children" So, I posted DOJ study spanning a 31-year period (1976-2005) which broke it down precisely, pretty much (except including step-parents with bio -parents) -- and not only did the stats say this, but the summaries said it too -- in every category, it was more males (including more fathers) responsible for killing children. Then the people that said this got mad at me -- not at the DOJ. Take the complaints to the source -- if you don't like what it said, don't just go lie, or ad-lib! Write to the government and tell them to switch around it's statistics because some pest on-line is quoting them each time she hears "more mothers kill children"! AND -- in this article's context, we are talking about custody disputes. So a subset of "mothers" should be shown that means, after separation or a custody dispute. I am sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, or angry. However, I am a mother, and I never thought about killing anyone, let alone my children, and the idea is abhorrent. And I'm tired of hearing my gender profiled as murdering kids more. Especially when it's not true.

  • Francis 04/07/2011 1:28:00 AM

    I don't think I am 'very ignorant'.Did you not read my post that told you, what I was going through. What exactly is your job with families? Obviously, some Mothers are violent. Some have post post-partum depression, some I'm sure find it hard not to be able to console a crying baby. It's a source of frustration. If you want to delve further into this aspect of things, you might arrive at the conclusion that new mothers, are left very often to deal with this alone. It's a big and underestimated job for one person. Once isolated, it's not easy to break the pattern. Mothers of young children become used to 'multi-tasking', the priority always going to watching the said child for safeties sake. Perhaps, we have gone down the wrong road with child rearing, perhaps both parents should be there.

  • quest 04/06/2011 10:52:00 PM

    Well Francis, I truly am sorry for your fate and if this is correct - your husband should be strung up. Fortunately, you are one of the few unfortunate ones that got lost in our broken legal system. But what happens so much of the time - the woman are falsely accussing these perfectly good fathers of wrong doing to get what they want. The Child and the money..........The majority of the fathers are good fathers and do the best they can with what they have to work with. But there the ones that continue to get chastized within the legal system. And this is what has to stop as well. Fathers are being treated unfairly in the Family Legal System. Yes, ANYONE (mother -father) that would commit such abuses as you stated, is definitely a narcissist and psychopath. q

  • quest 04/06/2011 10:20:00 PM

    Yeah, the general public - Geez, I quess that's the best way. But, that's my profession - Family and Children. What's yours- leading the blind...

  • Count me out 04/06/2011 8:39:00 PM

    By your reading of newspapers, evidently?

  • Count me out 04/06/2011 8:38:00 PM

    (sorry to drive this in , but I just looked at the two ladies' backgrounds who put this together, kathleen Sylvester (directs a 1997 nonprofit) and Kathleen Reich (former legislative assistant to US Senator Dianne Feinstein (date of publication, about 2000). Dianne Feinstein I believe has a daughter who is a judge (on Judicial Council? DNR). The backgrounds are: Harvard, Yale, Georgetown, JEK school of Government, Stanford, Wesleyan. Are these top brains or what? Foundations mentioned involved in this include also David & Lucille Packard Foundation,which puts out a publication "The Future of Children." "Kathleen Sylvester is director of the Social Policy Action Network, a nonprofit intermediary that she founded in 1997. Ms. Sylvester advises federal, state, and local officials on a variety of domestic social issues. Before her policy career, she spent more than two decades as a journalist, ". . . . So, how is a woman who spent two decades as a journalist asssociated with a publication that came up with and endorsed the concept that (year, 1975) fathers are the ones to introduce children to "socialization beyond the home." ??? And why??? I mean, c'mon, Let's Get Real! This is typical of who is driving policy and centralized planning for our (broke) country???

  • Count me out 04/06/2011 8:23:00 PM

    Isn't this, coming out around 1975, hearkening back (nostalgia) to the 1950s? and Leave It to Beaver? I mean, does tis view reflect reality? " In Fathers: Forgotten Contributors to Child Development,11 Lamb suggested that future research about the father’s role ~ ~ ~could be organized around the hypothesis that in contrast to the mother’s caretaker role, the father’s main socializing role is introducing his child to the world and reality beyond the home. ~ ~ ~It was a challenge that many researchers would accept, resulting in important work that redefined the role of fathers and deepened understanding of fathers’ effects on the lives of their children." It's a hypothesis! And further researchers accepted it .. . . . . Was it ever proved to be true? (1970s, feminism developing also. I think more likely Dads were very concerned about lack of attention to them, and this would help). Consider -- what caretaking involves as kids get older -- they are in school somewhere. If they are in pubic school, and anyone can pull this off, someone is going to need after-school activities (sports, YMCA, etc.) to actually get a decent education. Mothers are often in some families that can do this, chauffeurs, and work. Mom is herself engaged in world beyond the homes... I mean, across the entire nation, at that time, was it really true that fathers were "socializers" and mothers were the home help in caretaking and meals and laundry, etc.? The theme of the school systems was becoming then, and has become now, socialization anyhow. They wanted that job. No wonder Dads felt left out if they were the primary breadwinners in a standard job -- but was that all Dads? This is why I think we should look at the literature used to transform welfare AND the courts AND child support. I mean, this is the policymakers' languages -- and how sensible is it, really?

  • Count me out 04/06/2011 8:14:00 PM

    April 15th coming up. There has been quite a bit of anger directed at women's groups and women on these comments boards (including the other article). A common complaint is about the VAWA funding, DV funding, and I've heard the term "free money" and other such terms. I've also pointed out that there is plenty of "fatherhood" funding also (which has been ignored by both sides of the PAS debate. Because to sustain thePAS debate, oine must swallow almost whole (certainly undigested) that the family courts are biased against fathers because of DV funding -- and also that, well you know how many liars there are in this world. I've repeatedly encouraged people to look at the financing of the courts and at a few key organizations -- AFCC (formerly "CCC") and the CRC (Childrens Rights Council). The chief characteristic of the AFCC (which to this day promotes Gardner and PAS, and has a membership in California from the top to the bottom -- members of the California Judicial Council, Administrative Office of the Courts, Center for Families and Children in the Courts ("CFCC") include AFCC members (Diane Nunn, et al.) and nationwide, many Superior Court Judges). The AFCC history shows that a lobbying, tax-dodging organization called then "CCC" started in 1962, and by 1975 was called AFCC, shifting shape and incorporation status as the they were challenged about paying taxes and failing to incorporate (and report income to the IRS) several times. In other words, appears to have possibly started as itself a Slush Fund. The Key years 1962 through 1975 match with also a recent account of the fatherhood industry as told by fatherhood promoters themselves (a study underwritten by the Annie E. Casey Foundation -- and describing things underwritten by the Ford Foundation). I believe at least all protective mothers should know about the FR history in its own terms, and not just take the advocates approach of "it's about a psychological theory!! !!!" at face value the next time you hear it from some advocacy organization. Knowing this history and the AFCC history helps both men and women, because apparently both have been deceived by their own advocates to just not talk about this when attacking the other side. Here's a quote from a pdf booklet (free) called: MAKING FATHERS COUNT -- ASSESSING THE PROGRESS OF RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD EFFORTS. "The Fatherhood ‘Field’ Takes Shape: A BRIEF HISTORY THE FATHERHOOD ISSUE EMERGES 19 6 8 -19 8 7 During the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s, the drive for gender equality changed the roles the women and men—in the larger society as well as in the family—profoundly. With increases in divorce and single parenthood, fathers were no longer narrowly defined as breadwinners for their families. In 1975, in reviewing the literature about fathers and children, psychologist Michael Lamb argued that the father-child relationship deserved more attention than it received in research. In Fathers: Forgotten Contributors to Child Development,11 Lamb suggested that future research about the father’s role could be organized around the hypothesis that in contrast to the mother’s caretaker role, the father’s main socializing role is introducing his child to the world and reality beyond the home. It was a challenge that many researchers would accept, resulting in important work that redefined the role of fathers and deepened understanding of fathers’ effects on the lives of their children. The year 1975 also saw the publication of Who Will Raise the Children? New Options for Fathers (and Mothers) by Dr. James A. Levine, based on research that he began in 1973 with support from the Ford Foundation." 1968-1987. The AFCC was founded (as CCC) as 1962 and were international b y 1967. As of 1969, they still weren't properly incorporated as a nonprofit and had not yet begun to pay taxes like corporations should. By 1975, it appears the Franchise Tax Board had caught up with them, AFCC being registered in Illinois as a new "Charity." Real "new" when right after incorporation, Meyer Elkin, who started the 1962 group, with a (childless, incidentally) Judge Roger Alton Pfaff, took over the Illinois 1975 group, now called AFCC." (Sources, AFCC's own history and stopcourtorderedchildabuse org page on "Beware AFCC" which has a timeline they got from elsewhere... In this same timeframe, about 1985, the organization (also a Gardner-promoter at least originally) CRC (under an earlier name) got formed. It credits itself with changing terminology to "access visitation" -- and has Access Visitation groups nationwide. It, also, is a lobbying group with strong Washington, D.C. connections. which I yak about all the time ($1mil/year to California since 1996, who is accounting for its use? A report from the OMB admits, not too well accounted for). Google the title and see how much information comes up. Upload it and then search for "parental alienation" -- you will come up with zero. On the other hand, google the term "access visitation" and you will come up with a bit of history and some $$ attached and learn something: It reads: "In addition, PRWORA provided $50 million over five years for a block grant to improve access and visitation. OCSE also provided waivers to ten states involved in the Partners for Fragile Families demonstration, allowing them to use federal child support funds to support the project." What's PRWORA and what's that got to do with custody cases? Well, quite a bit: "Under Ross’s leadership, the OCSE increased collections while supporting efforts to help fathers improve relationships with their children and the children’s mothers. From 1992 through 2000, the department increased collections from $8 billion to $17.9 billion. The number of families receiving support increased from 2.8 million in 1992 to 7.2 million in 2000.59" 1992-2000 Got anyone's attention yet? 1992 through 2000, whoever "Ross" is helped the OCSE (you know who they are right? No? Look it up then) IMPROVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR CHILDREN. (Yes, it's not about child support collection, but improving relationships with mothers -- as a means to increase child support collection, allegedly). Who is "Ross""? "ACCOMPLISHMENT: BROADENING THE MISSION OF CHILD SUPPORT POLICY {{well, a former Circuit Court Judge who helped Broaden the mission of Child Support Policy, among other things....}} "It was not until the passage of the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act (PRWORA) in 1996, which overhauled the welfare system, that federal efforts aimed at fathers broad- ened to include several new goals: helping low-income fathers develop the tools they need to find jobs, become better parents, and improve their relationships with their children’s mothers." WELFARE FUNDS USE TO MEND PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS OF LOW-INCOME FATHERS. "Judge David Gray Ross served as OCSE commissioner for the duration of the Clinton administration was responsible for implementing much of this shift. “Before I came,” he says, “this office was just not a father-friendly place. The mission was to collect child support. Now, it’s more to provide for financial and emotional support of children.”58 Ross drew on his experiences as a circuit court judge from Prince George’s County, Maryland. From Ross’s point of view, it was important not only to identify fathers and explain their responsibilities for their children, but also to tell them about their rights to see their children—and to help ensure those rights. As Ross sees it, “When people are paying for their children, they really take a greater interest.” About that Broadened Support, somehow it always involves research and demonstration projects, federally funded, with an extra kick from some tax-exempt foundation, too, often: As I recall (you can double check) David Gray Ross is on the Board of CRC. He's probably also a member of AFCC, but I DNK. So, the policy setters -- "more access visitation!" working through the child support system have helped originate the word "access visitation," got lobbying for it (having a few tax-exempt hugely wealthy foundations behind the cause didn't hurt) -- and then also support and help run the groups that benefit from this policy. Go look at the site and read the history page too. CRCKIDS org. Also see their 990s on Guidestar. Will fathers EVER feel that the odds aren't stacked against them, according to followers of Glen Sacks, according to PAS-promoters (using this term to deflect claims of domestic violence by mothers in a custody fight) or according to whoever puts out these foundation-funded studies that talk about there federal and county-funded programs to correct the balance? Did even low-incomie fathers really ask for this to start with, or was it a top-down, Judge-initiated, psychology-driven policy? Are all these people in it becuase of poor people? (If unclear, go over to the Parental Alienation article, Jamison's, and scroll through and listen to a certain PA-promoter talk about trying to jail a trouble'd teen's mother for life and cursing out another noncustodial mother who is perceived to be on welfare, and just get the picture of who is most adamant about promoting this theory, and the self-described lifestyle...And others....) More from that brochure: "CHALLENGE: POLICY REFORMS STILL NEEDED Broadening the mission of OCSE will not be sufficient to address the practical issues faced by many noncustodial fathers and families, however. Geraldo Rodriguez is project manager of the Los Angeles Parents’ Fair Share program, a county government program to increase the positive involvement of low- income fathers in their children’s lives. Rodriguez puts it simply: “Fathers don’t come forward because they feel the cards are stacked against them.”60 Many low-income noncustodial fathers, he explains, view the child support system as one that takes them to court and puts them in jail when they don’t pay. Courts rarely help them see their children, generally fail to take into account their financial circum- stances, and do not recognize their efforts—however minimal— Fathers don’t come forward because they feel the cards are stacked against them. to support their children." The date of the publication is 2002. It's now 2011, and we are still hearing that the courts are stacked against the fathers. To "prove" this exaggerated claim, they include statistics that include non-contested custody decisions and decisions where no allegations of abuse (either kids) are present. They talk about ALL mothers get too much custody. (Read the comments, am I right?) Well, they aren't. So, to overcompensate, allegedly, for poor noncustodial fathers, the entire system is overhauled, including the courts and child support, when it's quite clear that about half the population divorces, and certainly obvious that half the population is not necessarily poor. But these programs are driving things in this direction -- AND they are promoted by people in high places with connections to washington, severe conflicts of interest (policymakers sitting on boards of and running nonprofits that profit from the policies, have key personnel sitting on programs that direct and sometimes (how much won't be known til people stop arguing and start consistently checking!) the funds (Karen Anderson of CPPA case) and use money they get to continue promoting and expanding the same programs. The greater the drama and conflict, the higher the profits, and the more distressed the litigants are, the less likely that are going to put on a cool head and start looking into who runs what, even though Marv Bryer did a whole lot of this, as ONE father of a daughter in a custody fight. He giot and accountant adn found the kickback, and systems of them,, in 1999 or earlier. And it's available on-line, in several formats -- audits of the funds and these organizations. And child support is most definitely central and influential in custody cases, no matter what anyone else tells you. See Silva v. Garcetti. A lot of greed is definitely involved between couples, but it really pales in comparison to these other outfits and those who run them. OK now, who else has been talking about this, of all the professionals commenting on-line complimenting OR attacking this article? AFCC, CRC, FR movement, yes the DV movement also (funding) and conflicts of interest in people who decide where kids live and waste those kids inheritances, where some existed, by prolonging the sport. As does this series of articles which reported NOTHING on ANY of the above. Our job as mothers and fathers is to ask, why NOT? Why haven't our leaders (so to speak) and advocates that we donate to, w ho we support, or who even are even sometimes active in selected custody litigation cases -- teaching this properly? Perhaps because they'd rather do PR, get a name, write, work on a Ph.D., run "institutes" go to conferences, sit on some panel to "REFORM THE COURTS" (allegedly), do symposiums, trainings, and sell stuff, including their own professional reputation as an advocate -- like the same organizations I mentioned above do... I think that's why, and keep it in mind when someone asks me to forward a news alert or come to the next rally or conference, including BMCC in New York, or anything NCADV-sponsored. I've BEEN to some. None of them told anything what I just said, above, although it really is critical information.

  • quest 04/06/2011 2:37:00 PM

    Then I highly suggest you don't continue your postings - because you are the one that is applying false allegations to me and everyone else. You are not an authority on this subject - obviously! Yes your efforts would be better suited in trying to fight to change the Family Legal System than writing false information.

  • quest 04/06/2011 2:25:00 PM

    The writers keep us going..............But you are wrong and very ignorant has to what happens everyday in this world today. I live in a City of 6 million people, if you read the paper and then some- there is always something henious some mother or mothers have done to her children. Yesterday, some mother locked her children in the attic. Again, it is proven more mothers kill children than men. It is written.

  • Remove the blinders 04/05/2011 6:01:00 PM

    Where is this proven -- by your reading of the newspapers? Father's sites and alienation sites focus on moms that kill (with glee), and protective mothers sites focus on Dads that kill. I've seen both. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services www(dot) acf (dot)hhs(dot)gov / programs/cb/stats_research/

  • Count me out 04/04/2011 7:51:00 PM

    Under "turmoil a parent can create in the other parent's relationship with their children." " Denial of visitation, scheduling functions with the child that conflicted with the other parent's custodial time, badmouthing the other parent to the child and even threatening the child with punishment for showing any love and affection for the other parent....denying this exists is neglecting the impact it has on their children." This is what some mothers (and I'm one of them ) experience after leaving domestic violence. The abuse is continued afterwards. These behaviors are characteristics of a person more interested in vengeance than working things out for the children, and has been studied in literature in the DV field. Your point is here (doubtless) tha tthis behavior is "parental alienat" -- however "denial of visitation" is contempt of a court order -- pure and simple. If it were handled as that, and the focus was simply on writing good court orders and complying with them -- then the authority is the courts. You try to separate "Parental alienation" as belonging to one side / set of parents and pair it with "false accusations of violence/abuse". Actually, it is quite characteristic of people who have already been convicted of violence or abuse to engage in this pattern of controlling and obstructing behavior and it is a selfish behavior, too. This what you would call "PA" -- actually is more common to abusers than to reasonable parents WITHOUT a history of abuse. People are constantly ragging on Claudine Dombrowski. However a large part of her court docket is on-line and should be read. SHe got visitation -- fighting for it in the courts, and also at one point OFF supervised visitation. The father did not comply, at all, and not much she could do. And if someone would like to go posit that Claudine was doing "false allegations of domestic violence" and that was why she should've been so punished by the courts -- go read her case history, and try again. Her case is not up at the international violation of human rights level without reason. Custodial protective parents (am I allowed to say "mothers" or not??) who have experienced this custody switch find out that PA somehow "doesn't apply" to their case when they really most need it -- after complete contact has been cu off with their kids. It is simply impossible to understand this field right if one omits (a) child support factoro and influence on cases, (b) when there has been one party on any tpe of welfare --(i.e., access to TANF funds) and (c) getting a grasp of what is going on. I recommend NAFCJ.net as a starter, and if you think the site is "full of it" then go about and disprove what she's said. It's been around since 1993 And meanwhile, find anyone else who has not worked with this one person, or the Richard Fine, Marv Byer element -- and even bothers to report on the role of the AFCC. I know no one did -- at all -- before the custody switching in my case. How about yours -- anyone else on-line here? Anyone tell you about AFCC? Or what to do if you suspected conflicts of interest? We can pretend that no politicking ever happens in a court case - or that, if it does -- it's a rarety. Then again, I don't think that's too smart. Why not eliminate it, upfront, as a possibility and then take it from there? This also alerts the judges et. al. you are not up for any nonsense, too. Well, Happy April, y'all.

  • Count me out 04/04/2011 7:37:00 PM

    Listen to yourself (I have been listening to what you say!): RTB: "My world is the real world.... " Actually, not it's not. IN your world (on-line here, I mean), everything but PAS and good parent/bad-parent evaporates. It's not even close to the real world. In the vague background of your awareness, people coming to address this stranglehold of a discussion (and recommend you detach from it for other pursuits, sometimes) the most observant you can get about people who won't fight your fight, on your terms, is whether they criticized your input last time, and what gender. You have not engaged with any other conversations. I have been called OCD< but I have a wide range of interests, one of which is pursuit of truth -- in its context -- in any matter. You do not recognize any truth, really, beyond PAS and false allegations. Above here, you tried to dismiss funding (again). I countered with current information from the top judicial decisionmakers in the state of Caliornia. Not holding my breath for any indication you've read it, or will read it. RTB: "...You on the other hand, are on this campaign of tall tales that everything is corrupt, illegal kickbacks are the reason that the courts change custody," False again... (RTB's rhetorical trick here --possibly innate -- is called "paper tiger" it exaggerates and misquotes what the other person said in order to have a target large enough to shoot down. ttempt to discredit what I have reported from several sources (not just one type of source) as "tall tales" when they are not. Or if they are, people can check it out themselves). I NEVER said EVERYTHING is corrupt. Find out somewhere I did and regain some credibility here. Stop exaggerating and misquoting (didn't I go through that with you some weeks earlier, and in detail with "Nikki," last few days? Result? Nikki, frustrated -- or angered-- came out with a personal threat, not a factual rebuttal of anything. I took that threat seriously and called attention to it on-line as a character indicator.) Restrict your use of "everything" and your comments will be a lot more honest and respectable. RTB: "men are the abusers, women are incapable of ever harming anyone" . . . . Nor did I say that, -- or anything even close to that -- and above here, today, I again asserted that's not what NGU said (when accused of saying it), nor do I. You speak for -- and I can only guess, about -- yourself about hating people according to gender. think it was quite clear where Nikki stood on that matter yesterday -- s/he does, especially mothers. Before today is out, probably, I am going to post an official source form an organization chaired by a VERY busy and respected parental alienation specialist and Ph.D.'d psychiatrist that recommends (it's in a Handbook!) for a sample and unbelievably biased railing in a fictional mother. THis was in their training materials! Turn around and look at this guy's website, and you'd think he was the worlds' expert on life, starting with mental illness (requiring medication) pediatric psychiatry (or such) and up through the end of the custody processes. He gets so much referral business from the courts, he is seeking extra staff t omanage the busy schedule. And was instrumental in getting custody remanded to a father for "false allegations" by a mother quite recently -- this seems to be the business he is in. When people see this, hopefully they will lose patience with this other stuff, pretending "in the best interests of the children." It is a perfect example of Professionals coaching Professionals how to discredit mothers -- from the very same people that say mothers coach their own kids to discredit fathers! Absolutely unbelievable. RTB: " and you might as well add that the gremlins are male, the boogeyman must be a father that wants vengeance and that your words are the only truth that exist in the world. " . . . Interesting characterization and in reverse, probably quite close to what you yourself believe. People who don't gahter information from a variety of sources on-line (or off-line) don't have much in their heart. So I guess all the fillings around whatever gems or bricks of information are inside, pretty much run to fantasy in your case, and physical bashing, blood and violence, in Nikki's (Based on the words s/he dredged up) RTB, What's with all the exaggerating and lying? My hypothesis: You are simply stroking off yourself in this matter, and characterizing what you just dreamed up. To reiterate, I never said Everything is corrupt, .... RTB: Instead of taking time to follow what I say and attack me, . . . . . I can't please everyone (nor is it my goal). When I actually DO follow what people say and respond to it in detail -- you get upset that Im too analytical and break things down. You even said that yesterday. I DO follow what you say -- and disagree with it, and say so. Particularly when you are misquoting and exaggerating what I say, why not respond? I could ignore, or respond. Sometimes I ignore, but after a while, it gets to be too much, and by then you are on my "probation" list and I decided to call the lies as they come up. Makes for a busy on-line life, but POSSIBLY others are reading (obviously I'm not trying to convert you to anything....). Attack you -- If you could detach yourself from your beliefs, and be interested in some common ground, some common truths -- perhaps the beliefs wouldn't be so rigid, dogmatic, and you wouldn't be so offended when challenged. Attacking what you say is not attacking you personally. THat's a tall tale you have been telling yourself, and it is indeed in your head. I do not have venom or an intent to destroy you, as a person -- in responding to your (false, incidentally) allegations about me, people I write with or may have known, or women/ mothers /nonPAS converts in general. You do not accept that others have deeply held personal truths based on their own experiences mixed with what they've heard and read also. Their priorities may be different. You are demanding that the focus being on conversion. and pressuring people. I say you are a cult. True evangelists win by manner, or win by substance -- they don't try to badger people and scare away any outside communication with a potential convert, and mock anyone who does not follow "the true" way. RTB: why don't you respond to what she is asking. She who, what, and where? Direct question to me?

  • Francis 04/04/2011 7:22:00 PM

    The reason abuse to children by women is more reported in papers is because it's more exceptional and therefore more sensational, news grabbing. This gives a false impression.

  • Francis 04/04/2011 7:13:00 PM

    I am not in U.S.A but the laws are the same here. As far as corruption is concerned I don't know what goes on 'behind the scenes' here. For sure they are pushing the shared parenting thing. My ex-spouse is now safely in prison. He is in prison, and whilst that is a way of protecting children from him, and also supposedly a deterrent to him re offending, it does not do anything to compensate my son, his friends or me. Yes, my son & I are pushing to get some money out of this, I would like to see my husband do something to compensate us, instead of which it is costing me a lot of money to fight for it. Our divorce is treated as just another divorce. For his side of the divorce, his crimes are not taken into account! My sister, recently died, (I think partly because of all this), and it seems that as a result of her legacy, I will get less of the asset pool. His Mother died a year ago, also I've no doubt, as a result of his crimes. I really think the crimes should be taken into account as part & parcel of the divorce proceedings. My feeling are too, that his punishment should fit the crime. I think he should repay his debt to me & my son, & his sons friends. As it is he is repaying his debt to society, but not his debt to those he has wronged. My reason for trying to get money out of this is because I'm so enraged. I feel as though I & my son are paying for his crimes! I realise there is a way round this, but it means we have to stay here longer, wallowing in pain & being reminded of it all, when we both want to go away, recuperate & try and do our best to forget about it. I believe we are entitled to vindication. I also believe it is natural of me to require vindication. At the same time as all that, I still sometimes feel sorry for my ex-spouse! I really can't see that someone could behave that way unless there was something wrong with them. Either he has had something similar happen to him, or there is something abnormal going on in his brain, or most likely, both. As far as I can tell from research he must be a narcissist. They aren't very nice people, but according to research, it is caused by neglect, & lack of attention in childhood. This certainly seems to fit the bill. To a certain extent I cannot but help feel sorry for him for that and for the fact that he apparently can justify to himself, doing the things he did. For certain, this sort of crime must be stamped out, as it seems to be self perpetuating. Gender is irrelevant but it certainly seems to me that men are far more likely to commit these crimes than women, and possibly because they have a stronger sex drive / aggressive drive than women. I'm sure there must be some way to prove this.

  • Count me out 04/04/2011 7:05:00 PM

    Remove the Blinders -- do you have a day job? The world cannot be carved up into cartoon-like, simplistic labels, such as this cohort or that cohort. If you would pause from sarcastic replies to NGU (or me) and actually spend a little more time reading what different non-PAS-promoting people have said on-line here, you'd have realized by now they are not one "cohort" any more than all women or all single mothers, are of one type (falsely-accusing, controlling the courts by some mysterious means, and just drooling to cut Daddy off from his children), nor or all men, or all fathers, are of one type (innocent, constantly harasseed (pay not attention to that FR funding from the US HHS, etc.) and robbed by those damn feminists who get federal funding (like FR don't?) (or our funding actually reaches us personally and helps our custody cases?) "you are doing the people that understand that alienation hurts children some excellent service by denying the facts with delusional rhetoric. How was the show yesterday?" Fact is you have next to no actual information to offer anyone, except court cases you copied wholesale from (Angiemedia -- are you one of the angiemedia regular reporters, or what? We also got a wholesale post the other week from "shrink4men") -- and shallow attempts to discredit others not by engaging with what they say but by shrugging it off or sarcastic comments. I think that shallowness (and ignorance of the larger context, and other players in the courts) is beginning to show on-line now. Good! I disagree with the article on several issues and have said so. However when someone lashes out at someone with no substance behind the charge, it's real fun to point that out. Unbelievable to you, some of us do not take everything personally, but have an objective interest in what goes on in the courts. We are not looking for dirt everywhere, but a lot has splashed on us, and hurtfully. When we find answers, we post answers, so others can get through maybe a little less scarred and distressed. The courts are NOT about personalities of the litigants only. That is secondary. There are multiple personalities in the people who staff and set policy in and around the courts. As hard as you try, you cannot eradicate an awareness of their presence. When people start scrutinizing the AFCC/CRC combo, the HHS funding (through Taggs and elsewhere easy to find on-line) and the nonprofit front groups congregating around grants to the courts -- they will see in a clearer light how false is the accusation that the courts are biased against Dads. Yes, they do hurt Dads in extorting some good or borderline-good ones into custody litigation they perhaps don't want, but when a seriously bad mother or father comest to the table, the courts have the dinnerware set and the invitation already written. Bad Dads and Bad Moms are the bread and butter of this system, and are rewarded for such behavior, so long as they play by ITS rules, which can include getting access to some Title IV-D (welfare, or Child Support related) funding, too, and share some of the bounty around. I agree judges have a tough job in a 20 minute hearing making a straight decision (perhaps). However, at the end of the day, they have a fine salary and benefits package, and if a case is lost, they don't lose their paycheck or their kids. This cannot be said of the litigants. At the end of the day, they are not going to have their entire social and work life potentially in upheaval, and their kids' schooling and classes preparing them for college. The same cannot be said of the litigants. Right?? Or do you disagree with that? Trying to redirect energy towards finding out which end is up in the courts away from that and back into picking one angry side to choose --male, or female -- (defined as believes PAS or resists believing in AND focusing on PAS) -- is simply gives the courts more business and less oversight. Now how smart is that? (well, depends on one's source of income, I guess...)

  • Count me out 04/04/2011 6:49:00 PM

    While you guess, speculate, and indoctrinate, I read, think about what I read, and report some of it -- when it relates to our issues in the family law system. This does. I also exhort and encourage and suggest other people read something beyond what they could, after about one day on-line here (or other FR sites) predict, almost verbatim is going to be said, sound bytes, responses, and all. Is your focus to dismiss and recharacterize anything which takes the spotlight off your "psychological" issues and parents' behavior in the best interest's of anyone's children? Is there a particular reason you resent my reporting on things out side that scope but still very much relevant to every person who has a custody battle, AND people who pay taxes to fund their custody battles? This reminds me of the Wizard of Oz -- "pay no attention to that man behind the curtain." Good grief -- why is ignorant (except for FAF-approved topics, which have gone into repeat overdrive) better than informed? Reporting IS doing something about it, and other than this, you don't know what I am or am not doing about any of the situtaions I bring to people's attention unless you have personnel staff that track people off-line, which I tend to doubt. Mostly people in the courts are concerned about violations of the 14th Amendment -- let's not forget the FIRST one, though! "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." Far as I can see, you are free to ridicule what I write, and project some psychological analysis upon me of why I write it (so others don't listen, and listen instead to the PAS talk) , and within terms of this site, I am free to write it.

  • Count me out 04/04/2011 6:35:00 PM

    I understand the comment may be offensive to you, but she (I presume) did not say "every man who uses the legal system to gain custody of his children" is evil. She said "abusers." Obviously, not all men are abusers, and hopefully good men who divorce and do get custody would still understand their children have a mother, and not allow their funds to be depleted, or try to ruin her financially, by insisting that she have to pay to see her children through supervised visitation, or unnecessarily prolonging custody. (Women, I would beware this also, it's a trap if dealing with an abuser). An awareness of how the child support industry plays into this would be helpful. It is true that abusers who wish to exploit (versus just use) the system, have a system that is eager to let them do this -- for financial gain to the people it continues to involve. Again, to correct the reply -- Bookhamer did not paint "every man who uses the legal system to gain custody of his children as evil." Overstating what someone else said (for any reason) is not helpful, and is very much noticed on this forum. At least, I sure notice it....

  • Count me out 04/04/2011 6:25:00 PM

    The best interests of the children in a particular case is most definitely influenced in part by finances and funding. Nice try on tossing off millions going to the courts each year to "equalize" the bias against fathers, and to other places in "discretionary," "research and evaluation" and "demonstration" type grants with shelters as part of the "discretionary" label. So many people come to work in the courts and determine children's futures, on a say-so either from a mandatory mediator in a "recommending" county (where what they say is taken more seriously by a judge) -- are coming there because they love children, right and are concerned for them, and the children's best interests in mind -- and not their own personal financial and professional futures... Doesn't to steal or eliminate their child support, and increase US debt by pouring millions into functions outside actually paying judges, transcriptionists, bailiffs, police officers, etc. harm -- rather than protect the best interests of -- children? Anything that prolongs the custody process deletes income from one parent, or both parents, which should be going to their children's futures. Making 'the best interests of the children" so vague that anyone could argue over it (and leaving open the door to argue that anything remotely "parental alienation" is not) isn't fair to the parties or the kids. It just gives more and more external people (with their own motives) more and more input into the case, with less and less oversight. Don't let anyone toss off the "funding" bias as irrelevant (that's an attempt to toss of the influence of the entire fathers' rights industry and its backers, as it affects the custody process. If you knew the ##s, or had a clue to them, you wouldn't see this as something to "toss off." VAWA contributes on the other side, and it gets funneled by and large to professionals who conference, discuss, debate, and etc. with your tax $$). EVEN the Top DOGS in the California Judiciary argue about this too -- Legislators vs. Judges vs. State Auditors -- I think funding IS relevant to everyone.... and our kids' futures. Maybe in the next world, every one in authority will be altruistic, but in this one, I'd rather know who I"m dealing with in the courts, and in/around any custody proceeding. @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @@ @ @ @ @ @@ @ @ Below here are articles about some recent hubbub in the top authority of California Courts, affecting all 58 counties and how our cases are recorded and handled. They can't get along -- wonder how they expect the average divorcing couple to just "work it out" and pretend no money is involved. Some of this happened in March, while we were just duking it out on-line here at SFWeekly.... What happens in family court VERY much influenced by the Judicial Council, Administrative Office of the Courts, and underneath that the "CFCC" (Center for Families and Children in the Courts). CFCC gets about $1 million/ year in federal grants, managed by the federal child support agency (OCSE) to pay for "access / visitation" activities, to encourage programs for supervised visitation, counseling & parenting education. This is where a lot of our troubles and complaints on fathers & mothers (both) come from. It's perceived as wasting money and biased. There has been some double-billing (cheating) caught from time to time by people who run these programs, people who request funds for them, and conflicts of interest in custody cases. It really lacks oversight. So I would say "funding bias" is definitely a live issue. @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Beyond that, very top California Judicial dogs are fighting among each other for control of a major statewide project and the huge amounts of money to fight them -- CCMS (computer system overhaul) vs. building more courthouses (local trial courts control). Anyone who knows about the Richard Fine lawsuits (for which he got tossed in jail and disbarred -- he was confronting financial corruption in Los Angeles County, partly around these issues) may have heard of this already. Recently there has been some infighting and 3 key people stepped down, in part over budget issues and how the place is run. Here are some clues .... (Judicial Council Watch wordpress site...) Wm Vickrey (head of California Judicial Council) stepping down early: "Bill Vickrey announces his retirement Posted on March 22, 2011 by Judicial Council Watcher Under mounting statewide pressure, William C. Vickrey announced his retirement from the AOC effective September, 2011. In a carefully scripted pravda propaganda piece, Chief Justice Tani Cantil-Sakauye wants you to believe that in spite of nearly all of California demanding his resignation including legislators, that this ‘retirement’ was planned last September." Also, several articles on how over-the budget this group is 2011/02/08/ put-the-money-in-the-bag-another-cartoon-supplied-to-jcw/ Another site, showing two more people that retired early (over this overhaul of the case docketing system) sites a third person (Kenneth Kan) that was sued for forcing someone ELSE (Urquhart) to retire early because he complained about the agency's overbilling for projects. Sounds like Urquhart may have been an honest whistleblower type of guy. This is all very recent. www[dot]metnews[dot]com[slash]articles[slash]2011[slash]aoc033011.htm Same URL, articles extensions reads "ccms022511.htm" We got Judicial Council people saying: "Budget Crisis" In the letter to Cantil-Sakauye, a copy of which was obtained by the MetNews, the lawmakers also referenced the judiciary’s budget crisis and criticized Vickrey for recommending the diversion of $94 million from other funds for CCMS when that money could have been used to prevent the court closures which were in effect last year. Lara and Lowenthal (Cal Assembly Members) asserted Vickrey’s “staggering mismanagement” was also to blame for the project’s “skyrocketing price tag,” which “ballooned from $260 million in 2004 to $1.9 billion, and counting, today.” {{They wrote the Chief Justice and demanded Vickrey resign...}} They further insisted Vickrey’s “bewildering dismissal of sound advice”—such as recommendations in a 2004 report from the Legislative Analyst’s Office and a 2007 review by an outside consulting firm—has “resulted in the kind of debacle that, in any other setting, already would have resulted in termination.” Lara and Lowenthal additionally noted the findings of State Auditor Elaine M. Howle, who undertook an evaluation of the CCMS program at Lowenthal’s request. Her Feb. 8 audit said the project “lacked sufficient planning and analysis,” and faulted the agency, among other things, for having failed to conduct a cost-benefit analysis before outlaying significant recourses for development. A cost-benefit analysis was completed by Grant Thornton LLP yesterday, the AOC said, claiming the analysts estimated that California will save approximately $300 million annually once CCMS is deployed and fully operational in all 58 superior courts, and canceling deployment would produce a negative return on investment of $270.5 million Even the Cal Bar has something to say about this in April, 2011... "Vickrey’s retirement comes at a time of upheaval for the courts, including George’s retirement and the quick appointment of his successor, ongoing budget cuts, including a proposal by Gov. Brown for a permanent $200 million reduction, a highly critical audit of the court case management system, increased legislative scrutiny and opposition to the AOC’s centralized power by an increasingly vocal group of judges." Theme -- overcentralization (through the CCMS system and decisionmaking) vs. more power to individual trial courts. "Vickrey, 63, presided over the growth of the Administrative Office of the Courts from a small agency when he took over in 1992 to the biggest court system in the nation, with more than 2,000 judicial officers and 21,000 court employees. He oversaw reforms that included unification of municipal and trial courts and state funding of those courts, the transfer of courthouse ownership from counties to the state, reforms to the jury system and long-range strategic planning. " @ @ @ @ @ @ Yeah, I realize this is a real mouthfull -- but it's our lives and our money, and our kids' futures if we stay in California. I think rather than trading male/female, "oh, we just care about the CHILDREN" shots across the "PAS" chasm it MIGHT be time to look UP a little bit about what's happening to our court system, and this does involve politics and struggles over funding from the top to the bottom. Maybe ask our local assemblyperson whether they know who is accounting for the money that goes directly to all the external programs and nonprofits surrounding the family law system, and who is watching over this to make sure no conflict of interest. (Just an idea -- and watch out for people telling you what you should, and should not, think or care about, or even notice. That's an individual choice!)

  • Count me out 04/04/2011 5:32:00 PM

    Mixture of truth and lies on this one. I thought what Francis said made some sense. However a caution about "out-come-based" judicial hearings. Many family law hearings last 20 minutes or less, and the gatekeepers are mediators. If it gets more complicated, or if some excuse for this can be cooked up, or at times if a father (or mother) voluntarily seeks to bolster his/her side with more "authority" they request a custody evaluation and here come the bigger bucks. Or the courts order it. That's like the opening shot at the horse races, and puts more competition in the field to get to the family income, including assets, and including others who also might help them (like older parents, etc.) while there's some left. This statement: "the ones that falsely accuse the poor fathers of wrong doing - when the father is totally innocent." This isn't women as a whole -- please! And false accusations do go both ways, and is part of the adversarial legal process (which family law supposedly eliminates by hiring "mediators, evaluators," (etc.) but doesn't. A habitual liar is going to do so in print at times, too or in public. Women -- all of us -- are not "the ones that falsely accuse..." I'm sorry if you had a bad experience and are hanging out with people who also all had bad experiences, but your bad experiences are no more universal than the ones in this article necessarily are. "It is proven that 80% of woman are the ones that commit more child murders than men. If you read the papers everyday there is always some mother being arrested for murder or abuse of a child." Where is this proven -- by your reading of the newspapers? Father's sites and alienation sites focus on moms that kill (with glee), and protective mothers sites focus on Dads that kill. I've seen both. If you search the SFWeekly articles for the initials "DOJ" or "USDOJ" I posted -- at least twice -- a study from 1976-2005 which has charts, lines, breaks it down quite a bit by relationship, gender, age, sex, and who did what to whom. I'm not going to do this again here. And also discussed how using statistics without citing them is just plain wrong. I'm not much invested in continuing these conversations, was just checking back to see if anything new came up. So far, not much. A better way of looking at things is not "who done what to who the most" but I feel "who done what to my court system!?!? -- and taxes being used to support it and all its exterior scaffolding..." This can appeal to both sides, is good citizenship, and there may be more common ground than some of us think....hate-mongering, or gender apartheid through the courts (or off-court on-line discussion groups) is, er, less productive.

  • Francis 04/04/2011 4:18:00 PM

    quest Actually I have just survived a divorce, my husband turned out to be a paedophile. He used my son to source his victims. They were my son's friends. He drugged them, manhandled them and took photos of them as they slept, while they were staying at his house at the weekends.. I first found out for certain that this was occurring, when my son came home from his fathers' on a Sunday night & told me what he'd witnessed. So, No I think I am very much in the 'know' as to what goes on in these cases. I have first hand experience. Re: physical abuse and murder, my understanding is that it is usually the 'de facto' male parent who abuses his wife or partners child. Again, this makes sense with regard to biology and securing the safety of his own genes. Yes, my ex-spouse left a smoke trail that had me completely mystified. He had lied, been completely hypocritical with words versus action & double-bluffed. It was not until the criminal proceedings were in action that I realised that I had never actually 'known' him. We had long since separated & I was staying overseas where he'd been born because I felt that my son & his father needed to have a relationship. So much for my sacrifice!

  • quest 04/04/2011 3:19:00 PM

    Whoever you are, you're totally out of touch- along with several other people in this blog. That's one of the major travesties of the Family Court Systems today everyone just assumes that a mother is the better parent or she would not commit any form of abuse. Are you kidding, they are unfortunately, the ones that falsely accuse the poor fathers of wrong doing - when the father is totally innocent. They're alot of very narcissistic mothers out there that do NOT care about what is in the best interest of the child and along with the legal system - it's a double edge sword. I have seen this happen many of times and it is pathetic! It is proven that 80% of woman are the ones that commit more child murders than men. If you read the papers everyday there is always some mother being arrested for murder or abuse of a child. The majority of fathers are very caring and loving to the children and provide a strong vital role in the up bringing of a child. And sometimes they are the better parent and yes, they are treated unfrairly in our Family Legal System. Depending on the infamous Judge and the spouses Attorney - it can be criminal. Equal treatment of both parents in our Family court systems needs to be mandatory!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Francis 04/04/2011 2:08:00 PM

    Bookhammer, many paedophiles are either narcissists or psychopaths. I think it's fairly obvious that you'd have to be in order to commit this sort of crime. These people (narcissists or psychopaths) are very good at covering their tracks, they have spent a lifetime leaving a smoke trail with which to bewilder people. The bottom line on this is that men are more likely to commit these crimes than women. Of course they are, women invest in a child's survival during pregnancy. What has gone wrong with the world is that people are being over-zealous in their efforts at being fair. They say, "Oh, men are being treated unfairly, they should have equal rights to their children." What they should be saying is,"Let's look at the history of this" Women do tend to be more caring, because biologically it makes sense. This business of being so conscientious about fairness has lead to exactly the opposite in many arenas. We need to focus on obtaining the right outcome, not on saying,- oh yes he did this, this, and this in the past, but let's give him a chance now. The point is, that we need to look at the relevant facts, and do a spot of clear thinking. Few people are prepared to do this. I believe the writer of this article shows evidence of very clear thinking.

  • Never Give Up 04/03/2011 5:34:00 AM

    Excuse me Bookhamer I didn't mention gender in my statement. I know male and female protective parents fighting in the Courts for the safety of their children.

  • Bookhamer 04/02/2011 8:38:00 PM

    You are right, conflict often does escalate during a divorce. You should report anything done illegaly to you or the children to the proper authorities in your area. Failure to do this would make anyone skeptical about your claims. Family courts are not equipped to un tangle the he said/she said knots of a nasty divorce. Without clear evidence I.E. police report, charges pending, criminal history, verbal/physical incident in front of the judge etc. Judges then have to decide who is the better parent. Your painting every man who uses the legal system to gain custody of his children as evil. That their must be something wrong over there because Mr.Boragen wants to be the primary caregiver to his children. HE MUST BE MOLESTING THEM OR HE IS TRYING TO GET OUT OF CHILD SUPPORT! That^ sums up the bottom half of your article.

  • Remove the blinders 04/02/2011 2:38:00 PM

    Excellent points. It is odd how during the divorce an array of allegations can come up at certain times during upcoming divorce proceedings. It is unfathomable how people that refute parental alienation seem to put their entire argument on the "syndrome" portion. It is obvious a parent can create turmoil in the other parent's relationship with their children. Denial of visitation, scheduling functions with the child that conflicted with the other parent's custodial time, badmouthing the other parent to the child and even threatening the child with punishment for showing any love and affection for the other parent....denying this exists is neglecting the impact it has on their children. This article used three stories as the "catch-all" to the problems in the family court and that is just plain ignorant. These stories are horrific tragedies but not every father is an abuser and NOT every abuser is a father. The so-called funding bias is ludicrous. Always about the dollars and never about the best interests of the children. Some people Never Get a Clue about what really is harming children.

  • Never Give Up 04/02/2011 1:57:00 PM

    Just before and during a divorce violence can very well escalate and victims of verbal and emotional abuse are in more danger... Divorce time is when spousal and child battery, molestation and murder are up, Bookhamer Divorce time is when the abuser finds Glen Sacks on the internet and learns to invoke Parental Alienation in the Court proceedings against the ex.... PAS is your ticket to continue the abuse in the Courts....The Sacks promise: "if " you join his PAS bandwagon, you can take the kids from their primary care taker and get out of paying child-support! That is the main attraction to PAS, after all, child support is linked to custodial time... Bingo, you don't have to go to jail for your crimes of battery or neglect, or molestation of the children....you have PAS to hide behind and a whole Cottage Industry to back you up. Unfortunately when PAS is applied to a protective parent the process takes children away from safe parents and places them in the hands of abusers.

  • Remove the blinders 04/02/2011 2:53:00 AM

    Listening to what? To you and your co-hort on a blog for a website from San Francisco? Your doing a whole lotta world shaking. Bravo, bravo...you are doing the people that understand that alienation hurts children some excellent service by denying the facts with delusional rhetoric. How was the show yesterday?

 
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