List: How San Francisco Will Become a Stinking-Rich City

A recent report by the McKinsey Global Institute says that San Francisco will become one of the world's wealthiest cities, a global financial "hot spot," by 2025. What will the future San Francisco have that makes it so rich?

• Competent leadership

• A way to convert homeless people into clean energy

• Spectacular tax breaks for Twitter

• The Outer Sunset will be entirely made up of massage parlors and growhouses

Craigslist will get so advanced that it will tell you what you want

Gavin Newsom's reality show will be set here

• The Bay Guardian will make millions more from a lawsuit against The New York Times

• Twice as much positive energy per household

• Housing will become so expensive that extra closet space will be sold on the New York Stock Exchange

• Local artists will have completely sold out

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Michael Hardesty
Michael Hardesty

The good news is that neither Big Bruce or the Bay Guardian will be around in 2025.Neither will Noam Chomsky or KPFA.People will stop believing in "leaders" and take control of their own lives.All zoning, planning, environmental and land use regulations will be repealed and housing will be much less expensive.Gavin Newsom will be but a bad memory in 2025.Homelessness will be outlawed as all property will be privately owned.Craig Newmark and his fellow douchebag partner will have sunk Craigslist.The Outer Sunset will be............the Outer Sunset.

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