List: Why We're Still Talking About Barry Bonds

Wait, are we still talking about whether Barry Bonds used steroids?

• No, we're talking about his scrotum for its own sake

• Yes, but only ironically

• Remember, while suffering from shrinkage now, he was once a Giant

• Has something else happened that's newsworthy?

• When we spend this many federal tax dollars, it needs to be talked about

• Naturally: A full-on dissection of his testicular dwarfism will become the Giants' new season-opening tradition

• It's easier to understand than pension reform

• His is the sort of epic fall that demands an ongoing Greek chorus

• Maybe. I stopped paying attention way back