List: How the Unions Will Fix the Pension Crisis

Last week, San Francisco's labor leaders released their plan to reduce the pension costs of city workers. This is a highly controversial issue: What do the unions propose?

• That they be given time and a half for the hours spent developing this plan

• The city's pension debt must be calculated by union mathematicians

• Once their annual pensions exceed $200,000, city employees forfeit the right to be called "heroes"

• To encourage pension contributions from drivers, Muni will institute a swear jar policy

• The police union knows a guy who can cover their pension, no problem. We'll just owe him a favor, is all

• San Francisco can reduce pensions by 15 percent in exchange for the city's naming rights going to the SEIU

Sean Elsbernd will be equipped with a magic sword and sent into the desert to find a dwarf who can spin debt into gold

• The last entry is kind of hard to read, actually ... it just sort of scrawls off into a digression about what'll happen to Jeff Adachi's family

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