ON THE DEATH OF UNCLE BENNIE (OSAMA BIN LADEN)
We should all learn something from the Death of Osama Bin Laden. What is that, you ask? Store your sex toys and Lube away from your computer, empty your cookies and wipe out the sites you visited (at least once a week) and do not store more than 10 PORN HUB clips on your computer at any one time. Now everyone is snickering at him and calling Bin Laden a PERV!!! The leader of Al Queda has three wives in bed with him and he needs PORN?!!!
Poor Uncle Bennie!!! I mean, put your self in Bin Laden's position. You are in bed with your three wives, its 0100hrs in the morning and the US Government is kicking in your door---how would you respond? Me? I'd be screaming "Goddamn it, where's my pants? You bitches should have told me your husband would be coming home early". My wives would be screaming "Bennie, You're Home and we are Your Wives!!!" That would PISS ME OFF!!! I'd go "H-E-Y!!! This ain't Rancho Cordova and I ain't got no MED-WEED in the House. I wanna see some ID's RIGHT NOW, DAMN IT!!! Then I'd get a warning shot (through the heart and left eye) because 'I was armed and resisting arrest like they do in fill in the blank..."
People ask me if I fear a terrorist attack now that Bin Laden is dead. I say NO! America does not fear Al Queda and America does not fear the Taliban. Just like America did not fear Adolf Hitler or the Kaiser. The only people I fear is them GODDAMN Canadians!!! Dig it: Twice we invaded Canada (1777 and 1814) and TWICE them Mother-fuckers handed us our ass!!! Don't even get me started on the LAST TIME them Canadians kicked our ass. They came over here, burnt down our capital, drank up all our liqour, sexed out all our wives and girlfriends while forcing us, at gun point, to sing Beatles Songs while they were doing it. MOTHERFUCKERS!!! I mean, 'LONG-DISTANT TRUCKERS", Hey? All Canadians are hard working people and I wouldn't say anything bad about our Canadian Allies. Hey? We love Canada, Hey? Ich Bin Ein Canadian, Hey?!!!