The first sign of potential douchery: Upon arrival at Larry's, Amanda noticed some Gossip Girl DVDs on the shelf in his living room, but tried to put them out of her mind as they had a glass of wine. Then they headed out to Larry's vehicle. As they approached a line of cars, she was sincerely hoping that the bright red Smart Car was not his. It was.

Although Larry had lived in San Francisco for seven years, he did not know how to get to the Academy of Sciences. Amanda, who had been a resident of San Francisco for less than a week, gave directions.

Larry paid the $12 admission for himself and Amanda, but she got the drinks. Although he said he would "hit you back," that never happened.

Amanda hoped that Larry would have some ideas for date-y bars to hit afterward, but he chose West and Matrix Fillmore, both sleazy clubs where Amanda ended up paying for the drinks again. Larry took a bunch of shots, then showed Amanda the VIP room. He proudly told her that he had rented the place out on his birthday and everyone got totally wasted.

"The only stories he told were about times he was wasted ... and his ex-girlfriend," Amanda says.

Larry detailed that relationship, their breakup, and the ex's new fiancé. At the end of the evening, he asked Amanda to come home with him. When she hesitated, he whispered in her ear, "I wanna get you naked."

She hailed a cab and never spoke to him again.


At SFO — and in S.F. — sometimes a thorough security check is necessary.

The twinky Latino was flirting with "some old creeper" across the bar at Esta Noche in the Mission when Stuart caught sight of him. Stuart was looking to meet someone, and he wasn't about to let this cute guy go home with a man three times his age. He walked up and said one word: "Really?"

"That guy bought me a drink," the Latino explained. His voice was nasal. His name was Alejandro.

"I'll buy you a drink," Stuart countered.

Minutes later they were walking back to Stuart's place when Alejandro made a confession. They were headed into the area where South Van Ness meets 25th Street, which was sort of a big deal, because, well, Alejandro was a Norteño. They were entering Sureño territory.

"I could get killed for coming here," Alejandro told Stuart. "But I really like you."

Stuart thinks he remembers rolling his eyes, but he was so drunk he isn't sure.

When they arrived at his apartment, Stuart speedwalked in and gave his roommates a warning: "Okay, guys, I bought home a gangbanger, but you have to be cool with this because I'm gonna get laid." They shrugged, and Stuart rushed Alejandro to his bedroom, "so no one had to talk to him."

To Stuart's surprise, the gangbanger turned out to be great in the sack. So although Stuart had planned to kick him out for the night, he changed his mind. "I was superdicknatized," he says.

Stuart continued calling Alejandro for a week after their encounter, but apparently the gangsta was unwilling to venture back into enemy territory.


In the airport and this city, people wind up in the same place whether or not they want to.

Kate, a writer in her late 20s, hadn't had much luck with online dating services, but she still had hope. So when another OkCupid person she'd been e-mailing suggested hanging out, there was no reason not to meet. He didn't seem all that promising (the word-to-emoticon ratio was suspiciously low) but he seemed cute, reasonably intelligent, and nice. The guy suggested a date for the coming Sunday, and although Kate planned on replying later that day to say okay, she first went to get some work done in a coffee shop.

She selected a chair facing the entrance, and although she had communicated with her potential date only via OkCupid, when a guy walked through the door she was sure it was him. Furthermore, when she saw his slight, hipster companion, she was sure that the two were on a date. Kate was terrified her date would recognize her, but either he didn't or he didn't care that she was there. The two proceeded to sit on a couch directly behind her and commence their date.

She listened as the guy repeated many of the same details about himself that Kate had learned over OkCupid messaging. There was talk of woodworking ("Could the metaphors be any more transparent?" Kate says) and indie music. There was uproarious laughter. Kate heard the woman say, "You're hilarious," and quietly disagreed.

The couple left the coffee shop after a few hours, looking happy; when Kate got home, she sent a message to say Sunday wasn't going to work. They e-mailed halfheartedly a few more times, but Kate was deflated. "I felt like I'd already been on the date with him," she said, "and there was no reason for a second."


As we saw in Up in the Air, deception runs rampant among strangers in airports. If you're in a place for only a short time, why not become a different person? And while you're at it, you might as well construct an identity for somebody else.

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7 comments
Elizabeth frantes
Elizabeth frantes

All I hope is that none of these idiots breed. I know that's too much to ask for. In fact, according to a study I read in the journal Evolution, there is a very, very strong correlation between low IQ in women with early/frequent childbearing. So, unless breeding makes women stupid, it's the dumbest of the dumb who do.

Georgeorwell6
Georgeorwell6

OMGYou are a mental case Frantes. I just saw this on the internet. You are an absolute crackpot. I did a google search on you and found this.

From: elizabeth <efran...@hotmail.com>Subject: Re: Why Don't Right To Lifers Support Government Paying 50% of Child Support?Date: Sat, 21 May 2011 12:10:33 -0700 (PDT)Message-ID: <235e3b5e-1dbb-4e56-9f91-d3dc2bda2768@34g2000pru.googlegroups.com>

"Antiabort females should be gangraped to death.Slowly.

I feel that antiabort males should have their genitals ripped offand forced down their throats, and antiabort females gangraped untildeath."</efran...@hotmail.com>

Georgeorwell
Georgeorwell

Elizabeth Frantes,Your view points are wacked. Maybe you need to consider a long vacation or get some medical attention. You are just way too far out there. Aren't you the same wacko that said antiabortion women should be raped slowly and to death? I mean come on, seriously. What person in their right mind would ever think of such a sick thing?

GuessHandsOn
GuessHandsOn

I see that Miss Harrell herself hasn't logged onto her OKC profile for a long while. Maybe, she, too, is disturbed about dating in SF.

I Miss "Latin Freeze"
I Miss "Latin Freeze"

25th & South Van Ness is and has always been Norteno territory. If Alejandro was a Norteno, he wouldn't have had a problem going there. In fact, Esta Noche is deep in Sureno territory.

I understand that the gang life doesn't mean much to the SF Weekly, but considering how many Mission youth get killed over it, at least have the decency get the territories right. If you need a fact checker, ask any kid at Mission High.

Manu
Manu

Wow! This stories are so interesting! I'd like to know more about SFo people's lifestyles

 
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