Jules, a single man visiting San Francisco, was out in the Mission one night last year. He was a little tipsy and couldn't recall the bar he was in, but he'll never forget the hot blonde woman who approached him.

"You were my anthropology professor at Berkeley!" she said.

Jules is not a professor. He has never even been on the Berkeley campus. But maybe this woman knew him from some other context. Maybe she was kidding.

"Ah, really? Which class were you in?" he asked, waiting for an explanation or punch line.

"Multicultural communication."

Jules happens to be a French guy with a job that requires a lot of travel. He had just returned from Sudan. Still uncertain of where this was all going, he segued into some stories about his travels.

But as he expounded, he began to realize that the woman was a complete stranger who seemed to actually believe that he had been her professor. She struck him as sweet, fun, hot, and very engaging.

"So, like any self-respecting heterosexual man, I went with it," he says.

They hung out at the bar for another couple of drinks, then headed back to the place Jules was crashing for the night. "My friends were out of town, so I had the pad to myself," he says, "and that's where the magic happened."

The next morning, Jules called the woman a cab, and they parted with no awkwardness. Nothing further was mentioned about the student-professor connection, which left him wondering: "I still don't know if I played her or she played me."


The journey to finding the right person can get lonely. Sometimes in the limbo periods, just about anyone is worth talking to — for a little while.

About two years ago, 29-year-old Yingying had recently split with a boyfriend and was looking for somebody to hang out with. Nothing serious. More a companion than a lover.

She didn't know how to go about finding a casual date, but the easiest way seemed to be putting an ad on Craigslist. She wasn't sure whether to mention that she was Asian, but in the end she did. "There are high expectations of Asians in sexual contexts," she says, "and I'm the opposite of a typical Asian girl." (She is tall and voluptuous.)

She is also working on a Ph.D in psychology, and the respondents to her ad were far from the thoughtful, friendly candidates she had in mind. In fact, many of them felt compelled to send pictures of their genitalia.

There was only one respectable response, which came from a doctor. She looked him up online, and his story checked out. So she agreed to meet him for an afternoon drink at a wine bar in SOMA.

When Yingying walked in, she immediately noticed a guy at the back of the bar who looked older, chubbier, and generally less attractive than the photos she had seen. She had the sinking and correct feeling that he was her date. "He had a long ponytail," she says. If there's one thing Yingying can't stand, it's a man-child.

She had the obligatory drink with him, and found him sort of nice. He bought her another. The conversation meandered into apartment hunting, as Yingying was looking. The doctor said he thought she should see his, which was nearby.

She knew it probably wasn't a good idea. But she was on romantic layover. She had nothing better to do.

They headed to his loft in SOMA, which was beautiful. They began debating the merits of South Park versus Family Guy, and that's when the doctor insisted showing Yingying his favorite episodes. He sat her down and began scrolling through the shows he had recorded on TiVo. She recalls looking at the onscreen list and seeing some news programs, and some comedies, and then something about hot naked Asians. Then college-aged Asians. As he scrolled down, Yingying beheld a smorgasbord of Asian porn.

Totally uncomfortable but not wanting to acknowledge what she had seen, Yingying sat through an entire South Park episode. When the show was over, she asked the doctor why he had a ponytail. He told her he would never cut it off because it reminded him of his younger days.

Somehow that was a greater offense than his fetish. Yingying made for the door.


When you meet somebody in an airport bar, and it goes reasonably well, a question presents itself: Is this person worth a missed flight? Or, in terms of S.F. dating, is this person worth staying out past the last BART train?

Alan joined Match.com a few years back. He spent a lot of time ignoring messages from women who didn't interest him or pursuing women who never replied. But eventually he persuaded a woman from Oakland to go on a date. She came to San Francisco and they had dinner, which "wasn't terribly awkward."

At a bar afterward, she made the mistake of trying to keep up with Alan on whiskey and sodas. "I don't know why a girl would ever try to keep pace with me, because I'm six-foot-four and weigh over 230 pounds," he recalls. "She was a pretty slim girl. Maybe five-foot-seven or so, 120 pounds?"

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7 comments
Elizabeth frantes
Elizabeth frantes

All I hope is that none of these idiots breed. I know that's too much to ask for. In fact, according to a study I read in the journal Evolution, there is a very, very strong correlation between low IQ in women with early/frequent childbearing. So, unless breeding makes women stupid, it's the dumbest of the dumb who do.

Georgeorwell6
Georgeorwell6

OMGYou are a mental case Frantes. I just saw this on the internet. You are an absolute crackpot. I did a google search on you and found this.

From: elizabeth <efran...@hotmail.com>Subject: Re: Why Don't Right To Lifers Support Government Paying 50% of Child Support?Date: Sat, 21 May 2011 12:10:33 -0700 (PDT)Message-ID: <235e3b5e-1dbb-4e56-9f91-d3dc2bda2768@34g2000pru.googlegroups.com>

"Antiabort females should be gangraped to death.Slowly.

I feel that antiabort males should have their genitals ripped offand forced down their throats, and antiabort females gangraped untildeath."</efran...@hotmail.com>

Georgeorwell
Georgeorwell

Elizabeth Frantes,Your view points are wacked. Maybe you need to consider a long vacation or get some medical attention. You are just way too far out there. Aren't you the same wacko that said antiabortion women should be raped slowly and to death? I mean come on, seriously. What person in their right mind would ever think of such a sick thing?

GuessHandsOn
GuessHandsOn

I see that Miss Harrell herself hasn't logged onto her OKC profile for a long while. Maybe, she, too, is disturbed about dating in SF.

I Miss "Latin Freeze"
I Miss "Latin Freeze"

25th & South Van Ness is and has always been Norteno territory. If Alejandro was a Norteno, he wouldn't have had a problem going there. In fact, Esta Noche is deep in Sureno territory.

I understand that the gang life doesn't mean much to the SF Weekly, but considering how many Mission youth get killed over it, at least have the decency get the territories right. If you need a fact checker, ask any kid at Mission High.

Manu
Manu

Wow! This stories are so interesting! I'd like to know more about SFo people's lifestyles

 
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