In 1986, Anthony Burgess got his wish: The last chapter of A Clockwork Orangewas finally added to the American edition. He wasnt thrilled that his cautionary tale of troubled youth had become a bible for them, and perhaps the missing chapter, in which Alex decides to simply grow the fuck up, would temper the infamy of his book. He neednt have bothered: Gutter punks dont finish books, and, if they do, 200-odd pages of horror ultraviolence cancel out any fragile maturation at the end. Plus: the milk bar! What self-respecting hooligan doesnt dream of a youth wasted in a milk bar, drinking milk and drugs, staring down malchicks with a nosh stuffed in her pants? (Warning: The rest of this preview is written in code.) In any case, we hope at least one chelloveck comes to tonights A Clockwork Orange Party as a matured Alex, speaking the Kings English and enjoying his chai responsibly and adultly Burgess would have wanted it that way. For the rest of you: Use the old britva on the gulliver, with real horrorshow bolshy big boots on the old nogas for kicking litsos, and get your malenky selves ready for a bit of dirty twenty-to-one and milk plus vellocet, synthemesc, and other veshches that take you far far far away from this wicked and real world into to viddy Bog and All His Holy Angels and Saints in your left sabog with lights bursting and spurting all over your mozg. O yes, exactly like that, my brothers.
Sun., June 19, 3 p.m., 2011